SHITSLITS

I POURED PUMPKIN SEEDS
ALL OVER THE
FUCKING TABLE
AND DIDN'T FEEL ANY
REMORSE ABOUT
MY ACTIONS AT ALL.
I JUST HEARD LAUGHER.
THE WHISKEY HELPED
THEM STICK TO THE WOODEN
TABLE THAN
ANY SORT OF GLUE
YOU COULD FIND IN A
WALGREENS.
IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA TO
TAKE A TOWELL FROM A BAR
TO CLEAN YOUR BODY
AFTER A SHOWER.
IT'S A PITY I LEARNED THAT
LATER IN LIFE.
ENCRUSTATIONS, YA KNOW?
I BOUNCED A QUARTER
INTO A CUP TONIGHT
AND GOT GOOSEBUMPS
THAT EXPLODED ONTO
OTHER PEOPLES FACES
THAT I DIDN'T REALLY
GIVE A FUCK ABOUT
BESIDES THE FACT THAT
THERE WAS ANOTHER
HUMAN AROUND.
I RODE THE
TRAIN THE OTHER DAY
WITH A WOMAN CLAIMING
TO HAVE
HIT SOMEONE WITH A HANDICAPP
STICK TO SIT DOWN
AND REST THEIR WEARISOME LEGS.
WHEN I COMMENTED ON HOW
SEXY HER NEW CALVES WERE
SHE PAID FOR MY DRINK
TOUCHED MY KNEE AND WINKED
IN MY DIRECTION
PROCLAIMING, "WISDOM=AGE"
I SMILED AND WE TONGUED FOR
MOST OF THE NIGHT.
WE LEFT THE BAR
AND I HAD BACON IN MY MOUTH.
WEEEE/