Tuesday, August 18, 2009

IF I DELETE ALL MY INTERNET PROFILES WILL YOU LOVE ME COMPLETELY

MY NAME IS ON SO MANY DUMB THINGS. SOMETIMES I FEEL FAMOUS WHEN I GET A GOOGLE ALERT.
THEN I FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF. I WONDER IF I CAN DROWN MYSELF IN PEANUT BUTTER.
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY POSITION MY BODY KNOWS IS "HUNCHED OVER A GLOWING THING."
I WISH I HAD MORE GOOD THINGS TO SAY THAT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE THINK I KNEW THINGS.

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A PENGUIN WITH A MUSTACHE. I FEEL LIKE THE LAUGHING STOCK
OF PENGUINS. LIKE I FORGOT TO PUT THE PENGUIN EGG UNDER MY ASS SACK AND ACCIDENTALLY
ABORTED IT BECAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY READING. BUT NONE OF THEM ARE MAD BECAUSE THEY
REALIZE IT TAKES A LOT OF ENERGY TO RAISE A PENGUIN BABY. AND ENERGY IS SCARCE.

SOMETIMES I THINK OF WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO WAKEBOARD INSIDE OF YOUR CHEEKS OR TO
BORROW A TI-83 TO DO A MATH PROBLEM INSIDE OF YOUR BELLY. MY FIRST QUESTION WOULD BE
DOES THIS TI-83 HAVE ANY GAMES ON IT? MY SECOND QUESTION WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE WHEN
I DIE WILL YOU TAKE MY ASHES AND TURN ME INTO PRADA SUNGLASSES? WILL YOU FUCKING DO THAT?

13 comments:

Annie said...

bro i deleted my mysapace adn facebnook tonight
i lokve frudriunk boog
drunk bloog. so much
i am driunlk otgay.
i am too drink i acant even compse compase compose worseds words



i like livigng even thought it sucsks

DJ Berndt said...

This is wonderfrul.

Mo said...

very rad.

daniel bailey said...

hell yeah

Annie said...

i will rephrase my comment; "i like this post very much"

daniel bailey said...

annie, i think you worded it right the first time

Beautiful Nightmare said...

exactly.

komdichter said...

good stuff :)

gamefaced said...

totally.

ty bluesmith said...

very very nice

Bryan Coffelt said...

thank you, guys. you are all nice and encouraging.

Annie Lo said...

Yeah, if you've seen March of the Penguins you know that raising a penguin baby can be really fucking tough, I mean, those penguin husbands are pussy whipped into staying home all winter sitting on those eggs while their bitches fish for them.

Bryan Coffelt said...

annie: ha!