Thursday, September 18, 2008

SINGLE PEOPLE ARE WEIRD

SINGLE PEOPLE ARE WEIRD.
THERE IS A REASON SINGLE PEOPLE ARE SINGLE.
SINGLE PEOPLE SMELL STRANGELY.
SINGLE PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE THE THINGS YOU LIKE.
SINGLE PEOPLE ARE POSSIBLY HOMOPHOBIC.
SINGLE PEOPLE ONCE KILLED A KITTEN BY PUTTING IT IN A BIN BAG AND KICKING IT AROUND IN A PARK.
SINGLE PEOPLE ARE OUT TO 'TRAP YOU'.
SINGLE PEOPLE HAVE 'EXCESS BAGGAGE'.
SINGLE PEOPLE STAY INDOORS ALL DAY, WANKING.
SINGLE PEOPLE SOMEHOW DON'T HAVE THE INNATE ABILITY THAT YOU HAVE TO 'LEAPFROG' FROM ONE RELATIONSHIP TO ANOTHER.
HOW WEIRD THEY ARE.
SINGLE PEOPLE USUALLY HAVE PIECES OF TOILET PAPER STUCK TO THEIR PENISES OR VAGINAS, DUE TO EXCESSIVE WANKING OR JUST GENERAL 'BAD HABITS'.
SINGLE PEOPLE LISTEN TO THINGS LIKE GUIDED BY VOICES AND THE SHINS TO DROWN OUT THE SOUND OF THEIR OTHER SINGLE FRIENDS WANKING DOWN THE TELEPHONE AT THEM.
ONCE, ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON, ALL THE SINGLE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD DROWNED A VERY GOOD-LOOKING KITTEN DUE TO WANKING ALL OVER IT.
IF THE SINGLE PEOPLE HAD BOYFRIENDS OR GIRLFRIENDS, MAYBE THEY WOULD HAVE JUST STAYED IN AND WATCHED TV OR HAD A WALK, HOLDING HANDS, INSTEAD OF DROWNING A KITTEN DUE TO BEING SO PAINFULLY SINGLE AND WEIRD.