TONIGHT PEOPLE SUCK (BUT SOME ARE GREAT) AND THIS IS NOT A POEM BUT AN HONEST RECOLLECTION

WE WENT TO THE HEOROT WITH LOUIS AND SARAH
THEY ARE GOOD AND GOOD PEOPLE
I DRANK A COUPLE FOREIGN BEERS
THAT WERE VERY STRONG
AND SAD ADAM'S CHERRY WHEAT
AND A FOSTERS
AND MAYBE THAT WAS IT

WE WERE DRUNK

WE HAD MANY BEERS
WE REQUESTED SONGS THAT DIDN'T GET PLAYED
THEY WERE LIKE UH...
THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS
AND TOOTS AND THE MAYTALS
AND SOME OTHER BANDS
THAT I CAN'T REMEMBER

WE LEFT DOWNTOWN
LOUIS GOT AN ENERGY DRINK
WE WENT TO THE VILLAGE
WHERE LIFE SUCKS

WE GOT SHITTY BEERS
THREE FLOYD'S "PRIDE AND JOY"
MEGAN MADE FUN OF A GUY
THE GUY CALLED HER A DYKE
FOR HAVING SHORT HAIR

THIS GUY IS LIKE 30 AND HANGS AROUND COLLEGE BARS
TRYING TO GET SEX FROM GIRLS THAT ARE BETTER THAN HIM

WE LEFT THE BAR AN HOUR AFTER CLOSE
WE WALKED DOWN THE STREET
SOME DRUNK ASSHOLES YELLED AT US
I DON'T KNOW WHAT EVERYONE ELSE YELLED
I YELLED SOMETHING ABOUT JAY-Z HAVING 99 PROBLEMS
AND THEM HAVING NONE
AND ABOUT THEIR PARENTS BUYING THEM SPORTS CARS
WE YELLED AT THEM
OR THEY TOLD ME NOT TO YELL
THEY BACKED UP AND SAID WHAT
I YELLED MORE ABOUT JAY-Z
I DON'T KNOW WHAT LOUIS AND SARAH AND MEGAN SAID
THEY DROVE AWAY

MEGAN CALLED THE COPS ABOUT A "SILVER MECHANISM" AND REPORTED THEM
AND REPORTED THEM FOR DRUNK DRIVING
THEN LOUIS CALLED THE COPS ON THEM
BUT GAVE THE WRONG NUMBER
HE REPORTED THEM FOR DRUNK DRIVING TOO

THEN WE KEPT WALKING

A VAN STOPPED BY US
THE DRIVER SAID
HAVE YOU SEEN A BLONDE RUSSIAN CHICK
I YELLED, CHECK THE INTERNET
THE OTHERS SAID, NO
THEY KEPT DRIVING
PEOPLE LAUGHED AT MY ANSWER
I THOUGHT, MY ANSWER IS THE BEST POSSIBLE ANSWER
I SHOULD BE A SENATOR OR SOMETHING
THEN MEGAN AND I PARTED WAYS WITH LOUIS AND SARAH
THEY ARE BOTH GOOD PEOPLE

THEN TWO COP CARS STARTED CHASING THE VAN
I DON'T KNOW
MUNCIE IS A STRANGE TOWN

MEGAN FELT BAD ABOUT HOW PEOPLE IN MUNCIE
ARE NOT KIND OR UNDERSTANDING
TOWARD PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT FROM THEMSELVES
WHY WOULD THEY CALL HER DYKES
I COULDN'T PROVIDE DECENT COMFORT
I HAD NO ANSWER
WE ARE HERE NOW
AND SHE IS EMAILING ANNA
AND I AM WRITING THIS
AND THINKING GODDAMMIT
BUT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN SAY

I DON'T WANT THIS TO SEEM LIKE TONIGHT SUCKED
I HAD A GOOD TIME AND ENJOYED THE COMPANY

BUT FUCKING COME ON
STUPID SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN