POETRY, I DID NOT MEAN FOR THIS POEM TO BE SO LONG

IF THE WORLD EXISTED
I WOULD KNOW IT
AND IT WOULD BE
AN EXPLOSION LIKE
UHH I DON'T KNOW
PROBABLY A MOTH
OR A SOCCER HOOLIGAN

MY PANTS WOULD PROBABLY
HUGE THEMSELVES INTO OBLIVION

1
2
3
4

THIS POEM WANTS ME TO KNOW
I CAN CUT IT IN HALF
WITH A DRUM SOLO

OR

A GUITAR SOLO

OR

SOCCER HOOLIGANS
DESTROYING MY HIGH SCHOOL

I REMEMBER HIGH SCHOOL...

IT WAS LIKE
UHH YEAH I DON'T KNOW
UHH FUCK AND SHIT
GAYS?
UHH...PUSSY?
AND SHIT?

ACTUALLY,
ALL I DID IN HIGH SCHOOL
WAS STAY HOME EVERY NIGHT
AND WATCH COMEDY CENTRAL

I HAVE SEEN EVERY EPISODE
OF COMEDY CENTRAL PRESENTS
AND PREMIUM BLEND
FROM 2003 OR EARLIER
AT LEAST 10 TIMES

MY POETRY SUCKED

IT WAS ALL LIKE:

DURR
I SUCK
THE PRESIDENT SUCKS
SO DOES LIFE
I HATE ME

THE NEW POETRY IS THIS:

SOCCER ARETHA PLASTIC HAVE THE UNIVERSE
FRENCH KNOWINGLY TIME DUST HEART
NOT REALLY
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

POETRY IS SUPER GAY AND SHIT