Sunday, March 2, 2008

BUTTHOLE BAILEY'S DIGNIFIED RESPONSE TO THE LITERARY FEUD WITH SAM PINK

I AM GOING TO SMOKE AN ENTIRE BOX OF CRAYONS
AND THEN BLOW COLORS AT YOUR FACE
UNTIL THEY MELT ONTO YOUR SKIN

THAT IS THE PLAYFUL IMAGE I WILL START WITH

THEN I WILL WRITE ANOTHER LINE

THIS LINE INVOLVES DANIEL BAILEY SNORTING A DESERT OF COKE
AND THEN PUKING IT ALL OVER SAM PINK'S LAP
AND THEN CURLING UP BESIDE HIM AND EXPLODING
YOUR LEGS WILL LOOK LIKE THEY DISSOLVED
IN THE EXPLOSION

THEN THERE WILL BE A STANZA
WHERE I GET MY GIRLFRIEND DRUNK
AND LET HER BREAK SOMETHING IN YOUR HOUSE

THERE WILL BE A LONG SECTION
WHERE I LIST THE BONES OF THE HUMAN BODY
SAM PINK'S HUMAN BODY
THAT I WILL USE TO MAKE A BONE FENCE
TO CONTAIN MY BONE MICE
THIS WILL BE ACHIEVED THROUGH ADVANCED BLOGGING TECHNOLOGY

THEN YOUR SKIN
THIS STANZA WILL BE PASTORAL POETRY
I WILL USE YOUR SKIN TO MAKE A KITE
I WILL FLY YOUR SKIN HIGH ABOVE A PASTURE
THE COWS WILL SAY WHAT IS THAT
I WILL SAY IT IS SAM PINK
I HAVE SLAUGHTERED HIM IN A LITERARY FEUD
THE COWS WILL LOOK UP THE WORD SLAUGHTER
USING THE DICTIONARY WIDGET
ON THE DASHBOARD OF THEIR MACBOOKS
AND FEEL AFRAID

7 comments:

sam pink said...

i concede.

butthole bailey, you, much like wu tang clan, ain't nuttin ta fuck wit.

Daniel Bailey said...

sam pink, it was a good battle.

let's be friends.

Kendra Grant Malone said...

all hail butthole bailey!

apants said...

This is really really good.

Daniel Bailey said...

thank you, apants.

everybody wins.

brandon said...

oh shit

sam pink said...

all this shit talkin's making me feel like i been out tha game too long. lettin deez little ticks like butthole bailey suck all my shit. i'm finna drop some satanic shit on dat ass.