DRUNK

2010-10-26T13:31:00.001-07:00

SOMETIMES YOU WISH YOU MADE FILMS INSTEAD OF POEMS EVEN IF YOU COULD ONLY EVER DO IT HALFASSEDLY

2010-10-26T00:17:00.000-07:00

2010-03-28T09:59:00.000-07:00

i’m sorry i couldn’t

give more of myself to you.

and that my actions

were confusing.

i’m sure you have no idea

on what’s going on.

but that’s just it.

neither do i.

but i know that

i shouldn’t be

having to force

myself to do anything.

especially see

a person.

there will be

another.

there always is

and i can get tangled

in shit again.

but i did enjoy

the short time

i spent with you,

lying on the bed

in your room with

no fan

next to the 101 freeway.

breaking your bed

and now

your heart.

POEM

2010-01-27T02:00:00.000-08:00

MY TEETH SOMETIMES HURT
A BAD DECISION IS TO HURT
A BAD LIFE IS TO LIVE WITHOUT
WATCHING A SUN SINK INTO THE OCEAN

MY MOST PROBABLE DEATH IS ALONE
MY MOST PROBABLE FEAR IS ALONE
MY MOST PROBABLE LOVE IS ALONE
BUT IT IS NOT

LET IT BE KNOWN
THAT ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH

POEM

2010-01-27T01:58:00.000-08:00

IT’S ALMOST LIKE WALKING DOWN THE SHORE OF MORSE RESERVOIR
AT NIGHT, KICKING ROCKS
BY WHICH I MEAN I HAVE EARNED SOMETHING
BUT THE WATER MADE MY MOTHER SICK ONCE

SO I AM AFRAID TO WADE IN
AND THERE IS SOMETHING HERE THAT I AM AFRAID TO ADMIT
WHICH MIGHT BE LOVE
OR IT MIGHT BE SOMETHING WORSE

IF I TOLD YOU WHAT IT WAS
I WOULD BE AFRAID

BEEN PUBLISHED ON A BAR

2010-01-07T01:02:00.001-08:00

SUNDAY MORNING TRADEMARK BUTTERFLY KISSES/E-COMMERCE

2009-11-22T03:11:00.000-08:00

EVERY STREET I CROSSED TONIGHT
REMINDED ME OF A ZIPPER. THAT'S ABOUT IT.
EXCEPT, WELL, NOT REALLY. I HAVE TO
TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT THE HARD GROUND.
THE TRUTH IS -- IT'S NOT THAT HARD. YOU CAN
SCOOP IT UP WITH YOUR GRANDMOTHERS.
YOU CAN WHISPER TO IT AND IT WILL COWER.
THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN TO WHISPER TO IT.
TONIGHT WAS A BROKEN POWER CORD, THOUGH
ALL FUCKED AND FRAYED IN ALL THE IMPORTANT
PLACES. LIKE, GO BUY A NEW ONE, IF YOU CAN
FIND THE MODEL NUMBER. BUT WHATEVER, FUCK IT.
I AM HAPPY THAT THESE THINGS ARE NOT AS
HEARTY AS YOU'D LIKE. I ALSO WOULD LIKE TO
EXTEND MY CONDOLENCES TO THIS UNIVERSE
ON BEHALF OF THE HEWLETT-PACKARD POWER
CORD I FOUND ON AMAZON.COM. I'D LIKE TO
ALSO PLAY A GAME CALLED "HURT THE UNIVERSE"
LATER BUT I'M NOT SURE HOW TO PLAY. SOMETHING
WITH CARDS AND EYES AND STUFFING YOUR POCKETS
FULL OF JAIL CELLS AND PERFORMANCE ART? SOMETHING
ABOUT THE SMELLS OF YOUR NEIGHBORS? BUT THE BIG
COLLABORATIVE THING DOESN'T HAPPEN UNTIL LIKE
TOMORROW, SO YOU CAN JUST CHILL OUT TONIGHT.
I KNOW THEY SAY YOU SHOULD TAPER AT LEAST 3
WEEKS BEFORE RACE DAY BUT MY LAST LONG RUN
TODAY DIDN'T GO AS WELL ASI WAS HOPING.
THE ORAL SURGEON WHO DID BOTH MY BOYS --
WHO ARE RUNNERS ALSO -- SAID AT LEAST THREE
DAYS OFF SINCE RUNNING INCREASING PULSE/BLOOD
FLOW AND HE WAS WORRIED THEY WOULD BLEED.
DO MOST WOMEN BLEED WHEN THEY LOSE THEIR
VIRGINITY? I LOST MY VIRGINITY TECHNICALLY WHEN
I WAS RAPED AND I BLED THEN. YOU WHO ARE VERY
ACTIVE IN SPORTS, HORSEBACK RIDING AND WRESTLING --
A FINGER IS NOT THAT BIG SO WOULD NOT HAVE HURT
THAT MUCH. WE COMPULSIVELY GROOM OUR FACES
UNTIL WE BLEED AND WE ARE AFRAID TO VENTURE
OUT OF THE CORNER OF OUR CAGES -- WE AGE.

HOW TO DRAG YOURSELF AROUND, IF YOU MUST

2009-11-18T23:38:00.001-08:00

WHATEVER GOES UPON TWO LEGS IS AN ENEMY

FOR THE STREETCAR THAT DRIVES OVER YOUR LEGS, FOR
THE MODERNITY IN THAT PITCH YOU REACH WHEN YOU GET
MAD. INTO KNOWING, INTO PITCHED FAILURE THROUGH US.
WILD, UH, WILD. SO KNOWING, SO TO YOUR LEGS FOR THE
MODERNITY IN THE CHEAP SUNGLASSES THAT WE MUST WEAR.

WHATEVER GOES UPON FOUR LEGS, OR HAS WINGS, IS A FRIEND

THE NIGHT YOU CRAWL INTO BED WITH ME WILL BE THE NIGHT
I HINT AT STREET LIGHTS, OR ELSE IT WILL BE US, HUDDLING
BEHIND A TOYOTA CAMRY, TRYING TO BLEND INTO SHADOWS.
IT WILL BE THE NIGHT WE FIND THE NIGHT IN OUR MARROW, ITS
BLACKNESS CRAWLING THROUGH US LIKE MOTOR OIL.

NO ANIMAL SHALL WEAR CLOTHES

HERE THE STITCHES FIND NO FREE PASS, JUST A BELATED TRUNDLING
OF TEXTURE. YOU X'S DITCH PAST THE COPS AND STRUGGLE OVER
THE RIVER IN TRUCK BEDS; YOU X'S STUMBLE THROUGH INTERSECTIONS
BREATHING LIES ABOUT POPULAR THINGS. HERE THE STITCHES GO TRUE,
PULLING THEIR EXILE BEHIND THEM IN A RADIO FLYER.

NO ANIMAL SHALL SLEEP IN A BED

THIS BEING THE HEARTBREAKING STORE MANAGER IN A SHRINKING
PARKING LOT, SMOKING LOST TIME. TUSSLING HAIR IN SENTENCES
AND PULSING BOUNCED CHECKS. THIS BEING THE MOST YOU CAN
WEEN FROM THE SPACE BETWEEN CHEWING AND SINGING. THOUGH WHEN
YOU SING, IT SOUNDS FOGGY, LIKE CAR ALARMS AND BRIDGES RAISING.

NO ANIMAL SHALL DRINK ALCOHOL

MONEY LAUNDERING SCHEMES DOTTED HER FACES LIKE THEY DOTTED MINE.
I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THE SOUTH. OR I THOUGHT I WAS BY MYSELF.
CORNER MARKETS DELIVERING, OH, FOR. FOR DELIVERING SERMONS IS PRAISED.
WE TRIED TO DANCE, OR, I MEAN, I TRIED TO DANCE WITH HER -- THOUGH
I WAS A PARKED CAR ON AN EMPTY STREET. OR AN EMPTY STREET UNDER AN EMPTY CAR.

NO ANIMAL SHALL KILL ANY OTHER ANIMAL

THE RIM OF A FULL GLASS IS UNLIKE ANY OTHER CREATURE IN THIS WORLD,
IT IS MORE LIKE A BRUISE THAT YOU DESERVE. FULL PLATES FOR EYES, SHE
GOES SHOPPING. IF SHE ENTERS THIS ROOM, SHE WILL BE SHOPPING. IN TIME,
TUSKS. SLOW GRAIN BARGES CAN NOT KEEP UP WITH THE STILLNESS OF A DYING
MOON, OR A FAIR PRICE. THESE POOR STITCHES KEEP DOTTING THE GLOBE.

ALL ANIMALS ARE EQUAL

THESE ARE NOT HANDS, THESE ARE LATCHES, THESE ARE DROP DOWN MENUS
AND THE CLOSET WHERE THEY KEEP THE COPIER AND EXTRA PENS. THOUGH
HEARTS ARE STRONG MUSCLES, THEY ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO AN XBOX.
THOUGH SHE TUGS THROUGH THE CRACKS IN THIS PLACE, SHE IS BARELY
DECORATION. BUT AT LEAST? BUT FOLLY, TO KNOCK HEADS.

THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE SEX DEATH / THINGS THAT REMIND ME OF KISSING AND EATING

2009-11-18T02:24:00.001-08:00

THIS LONELY EARTH IS A WEIRD
MOTHER FUCKER BUT SOMETIMES
WHEN I HOLD MY BREATH I FEEL FREE
BUT I ALSO FEEL MY BODY START TO
FAIL, WHICH IS A FORM OF CONSTRAINT.
OKAY, SO I'M NOT HOPEFUL. APPARENTLY
FREEDOM IS JUST THE ILLUSION YOU GET
WHEN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH.

I DON'T WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE
PEOPLE WHO END UP ALIVE WITHOUT
MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS. DO YOU?
I WOULD RATHER MELT MYSELF DOWN
TO MY FUNDAMENTAL CHEMICALS AND
VOLUNTEER MY SLUDGE FOR CONSIDERATION
AS A PLAYSTATION CONTROLLER.

OH, GOD? OH, I MEAN, DEAD GOD?
ARE YOU THERE? HEY, IT'S ME, MEG RYAN.
ARE YOU THERE? HELLO? SHIT. I'M IN A
FUCKING TUNNEL. FUCK, I'M GETTING PULLED
OVER. HOLD ON. I'LL CALL YOU BA-

AM I INTERESTED? OR AM I JUST DISINTERESTED?
IT IS UNCLEAR AT THIS TIME -- THIS TIME
THAT I MEASURE IN NUMBER OF STEPS ON THIS
CARPET. "WE HAVE CLAIMS BY KIDNAPPERS
AND TERRORISTS AND BEHEADERS."

BUT WAIT, DO WE HAVE TO FILL EVERY SPACE
WITH EVERY CHUNK OF OUR DISGUSTING SKIN?
DO WE HAVE TO FIT OUR CHUNKS INTO THE VOIDS?
DUMB QUESTION.

BETTER QUESTIONS:
ARE YOU A POTENTIAL VICTIM? LOOK AROUND YOU.
CHECK FOR THE SIGNS. ARE YOU WATCHING UFC?
ARE YOU EJACULATING? YOU ARE PROBABLY A
SCAPEGOAT WHO IS SECONDS FROM LAUNCH
BUT HERE, LET ME KISS YOU ON THE CHEEK.

EVEN BETTER QUESTIONS:
HAS YOUR PUBLIC ENGAGEMENT CHANGED
WITH NEW MEDIA? WHAT IS YOUR
OPINION ON THE FUTURE OF NEW MEDIA?
CAN YOU ALTER THE TASTE OF YOUR VAGINA?
DOES MY BODY LOOK NORMAL OR IS IT WEIRD?
SHOULD I HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND
IF I LOVE HIM/HER?

I'M RUNNING OUT OF HOPE

"FOCUS ON WHAT'S OFF ABOUT
THE RELATIONSHIP," SAYS DEBBY
HERBENICK, PH.D

"TILL YOU FIND OUT WHAT ACTUALLY
HAPPENED, AND WHEN YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR
TELLING THE TRUTH, YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE TIME
TO FIND OUT WHAT THE TRUTH IS,
AND THAT DOES TAKE TIME."

THE CO-FOUNDER OF THIS BLOG WROTE A BOOK IN CASE YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW. THE BOOK IS FULL OF DRUNK SONNETS. HERE IS A PERSON READING ONE.

2009-11-14T23:37:00.000-08:00

DANIEL BAILEY'S DRUNK SONNETS IN A BOOK

I HEART GOD NOISE

2009-11-09T23:33:00.001-08:00

IF I AM NOT IN CONSTANT CONVERSATION WITH YOU I FEEL LIKE SHIT
I THINK THIS IS WHY SOME PEOPLE LIKE THE IDEA OF GOD
AND SOME PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE COMMUNICATING WITH SOMETHING
BUT FOR THE EXACT SAME REASON I LIKE FREEWAY NOISE
AND I TRY TO MAKE MYSELF DREAM ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF TERROR
FOR EXAMPLE, I TRY TO FORCE MYSELF TO DREAM I AM TWO PEOPLE, SPLITTING, SOMETIMES.

WHEN I SAY "GOD" I MEAN THE IDEA OF EATING VERSUS THE IDEA
OF SINGING. WHAT I MEAN, REALLY, IS THIS PUNCHING FROM THE CHEST
OUTWARD. TO BE MORE CLEAR, I MEAN MY HEART IS A FIST. TO BE
MORE CLEAR, I MEAN MY HEART IS HER FIST. TO BE MORE CLEAR,
I MEAN HER FIST IS HER HEART. TO BE MORE CLEAR, I MEAN
THERE IS NO BLOOD BETWEEN US -- THIS IS CLEAN. THIS IS
A SIMULATION OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THERE WERE TWO TANGLED
CIRCULATORY SYSTEMS TRYING TO ESCAPE A BURNING BUILDING.

THIS IS A TV ON FIRE

AND THIS IS A FIRE ON TV

DO YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE? DO YOU SEE HOW YOU AND I CAN
CONVERGE IF WE PRACTICE TRACING EACH OTHER WITH CHALK ON THE GROUND
AND THEN IF YOU LIE ON TOP OF ME AND WE ASK SOMEONE TO TRACE THE TWO
OF US? AND IF WE ASK THAT PERSON TO LIE ON TOP OF US AND ASK ANOTHER
PERSON TO TRACE THE THREE OF US? AND IF WE ASK EVERYONE TO LIE ON TOP
OF US -- NO, NO. SOMEONE WILL FUCK IT UP SOMEONE WILL FUCK IT UP. YOU
WILL FUCK IT UP, OR ELSE I WILL FUCK IT UP. IT IS NOT UNCOMMON.

HERE IS A POEM CALLED I LOVE YOU CALLED I LOVE YOU CALLED I LOVE YOU ETC.

2009-11-03T00:33:00.001-08:00

LOOK AT A MAP OF THE EARTH
AND TRY TO FIND ME

I AM ALL OVER THAT SHIT
WHERE ARE YOU? ALL OVER
THAT SHIT TOO?

AWESOME

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
MINE IS BLUE

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE OCEAN-BOUND MAMMAL?
MINE IS THE BELUGA WHALE

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE STARS SO BLURRY
THAT YOU TRULY BELIEVED HEAVEN
HAS SPILT INTO OUTER SPACE?
I HAVE. IT'S PRETTY GREAT.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN STABBED?
I HAVE! I WAS STABBED IN MIDDLE SCHOOL
WITH A BROKEN CD SHARD
IT BARELY BROKE MY SKIN
I'M OK, OBVIOUSLY

HAVE YOU DROP-KICKED YOUR BROTHER
INTO A CLOSET DOOR?
I HAVE, AND WE STILL LAUGH ABOUT IT

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE EPISODE OF THE FRESH PRINCE?

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT PEOPLE WHO DON'T VOTE?

WOULD YOU EVER CONSIDER JUMPING OUT OF AN AIRPLANE
AND SHOOTING SILLY STRING FROM THE CENTER OF THE SKY
UNTIL THE EARTH CAPTURED OUR BODIES
AND THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO DO
BUT LET OUR HEARTS SLOW DOWN?

2009-10-18T11:12:00.001-07:00

ON THE BUS
FULL OF DESPAIR
TRY TO LOOK FOR BEAUTY
BUT THERE'S NOTHING THERE.

LET DOWN PRAYER / I HAVEN'T WRITTEN A DRUNK POEM IN A WHILE

2009-09-08T01:20:00.000-07:00

AND MAYBE THIS IS OUT OF A SENSE OF OBLIGATION
BUT I AM NOT OUT OF A SENSE OF OBLIGATION
AND YOU ARE NOT OUT OF A SENSE OF OBLIGATION
SO WHAT IS THIS?

IF WE WADDLED AROUND THE LAMPPOSTS LIKE A COUPLE OF DUCKS
WE COULD KNOW WHAT: THE WHATNOT OF THE MATTER
QUACK UNTIL THE SUNRISE LIKE THE COUPLE OF DUCKS
THAT WE ARE. FALL SHALLOW IN THE POND OF CARS AND LIGHT

I HAVE A JAR OF DEAD MOTHS. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HOLD IT?
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO HOLD THIS JAR OF DEAD MOTHS
THAT I HAVE SAVED UP FOR A MOMENT LIKE THIS
A MOMENT WHERE I COULD SHOW YOU DEEPEST RAINFLOOD

DOES YOUR TALK FEEL LIKE A RAINBOW COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH
BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MY EARS RECEIVE SOMETIMES
OTHER TIMES IT SOUNDS LIKE A PRAIRIE ON FIRE
CRACKLING WITHOUT PERMISSION INSIDE THE EVER

WHO IS THIS "YOU" THAT I ADDRESS IN ALL MY POEMS?
WHO ARE YOU? CAN I SLEEP INSIDE YOUR YOU?
AND WHEN A BABY STANDS UP NEW IS THAT REBELLION?
IS ALL OF THIS LIFE AN ACT OF REBELLION?

I MISS MOWING THE LAWN. I MISS SLAM-DUNKING
ON A SEVEN FOOT GOAL. I AM GOING TO CONJURE THE "YOU"
AND HOPE THAT YOU WILL LEAD ME THROUGH THIS POEM
WILL YOU BE MY VIRGIL, MY GUIDE?

SEE THAT WAS A REFERENCE TO DANTE. ARE YOU IMPRESSED?
I AM NOT. OK, BUT NOT. OK. GOODNIGHT. JK
I HAVE NOT REACHED THE END OF THIS POEM
ARE YOU STILL THERE? ARE YOU STILL WITHOUT SIN? NO?

I JUST PUT MY PALM ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD
AND I RUBBED THE SPOT THAT WOULD BE BALD
IF I HAD DECIDED TO BECOME A MONK
WHICH IS SOMETHING I WOULD NEVER DO

GOD IS NOT ALIVE INSIDE OF ME
GOD MAY BE ALIVE INSIDE OF YOU
I ONLY FEEL THE WORTH OF MY OWN WORTH
LIKE A DRUNKEN CAB DRIVER ON NEW YEAR'S EVE

LIKE A SPLAYED OUT HAND WITH THE KNIFE THRUSTS BETWEEN
I HAVE SEEN THE HAVOC WREAKED BY THE OTHER HAND
I KNOW THE HEART OF DARKNESS. I HAVE SEEN IT
WHICH IS ANOTHER LITERARY REFERENCE. RACK ME ANOTHER POINT

I CAN FEEL THE RAIN IN MY BONES
IT HAS THE TOUCH OF A DOWNY SHOT
I HAVE LICKED THE SAP FROM YOUR EYE
AND HAVE BEEN SUSTAINED BY YOUR SWEET

AND IF YOU WANT NOTHING FROM ME
THEN KNOW I AM FULLED FULLY BY "YOU"
THE "YOU X ME" SOLUTION IS YET UNSOLVED
OK. I AM LEAVING NOW, BUT I AM NOT

I CONTINUE. I FEEL THE ITCH UNDER THE SKIN
LIKE SWELL. LIKE A GODDAMN FOREST FIRE
FUELED BY BABY RABBITS AND DEAD MOTHS
I AM UNSTUNG IN THE COLONY WASPS

PLEASE LET ME REMAIN FOREVER UNSUSSED UNTO ME
LET ME COMMIT FLAGRANT FOULS AND BE EJECTED FROM THE GAME
I WOULD FRAME ALL THE RED CARDS AS A REMINDER
IF THAT WOULD COULD ME IN THE KNOWING OF YOU

BLEEDING CARCASS IN THE MOUTH OF THE VULTURE
THE SPIRIT OF UNKNOWN FLOWING RAMPANT LIKE PAINT
OFF THE BRUSH OF YOUR TONGUE. THE LICK OF YOUR LOVE
LIKE SO MUCH ALREADY DONE DIRT AND THE NOW...

THE NOW JUST KEEPS LICKING THE WHEN LIKE A BABY HYENA
I AM AN OBSTACLE TO MYSELF. IT IS LIKE IVAN ILYICH A LITTLE
WHICH IS ANOTHER LITERARY REFERENCE, AND I WILL KEEP MOVING
THROUGH THE REFERENCES AND THE NOT, BUT OK, WHATEVER

MY BED SMELLS LIKE PAINT AND THE HALLWAY IS A NUMB EXHIBITION
OF THE CELL THROUGH A VEIN THAT HAS NOT SEEN DISEASE
THAT HAS NOT EXPRESSED SORROW THROUGH RUPTURE
A RUPTURE LIKE A FLOCK OF WASPS OUT OF A DIRT SHELL

MY MIDWESTERN DIALOGUE WITH MYSELF SAYS LIE DOWN IN THE DITCH
LET THE FIELDS WRAP YOUR BODY ENRAPTURE YOUR MEMORIES
LET THE HEARTACHE OF VISION BE SWALLOWED BY THE COLD, COLD STALE
BUT MY FOREHEAD KEEPS PUSHING OUT LIKE A LOVER

AND THERE IS A NOSE UNDERNEATH THE LOVER
NOT A KEEN NOSE, NOT A BLOODHOUND NOSE
BUT A NOSE THAT IS ABOVE A MOUTH
WHICH IS A CONDUIT FOR THE SPITTLE I SPEAK THE MOST

UNLAP THIS BEER. DEFOREST THIS MUDDLE I THINK
BBQ THE FOREST OF EDEN AS VEGETABLES TO TOP ON BURGERS
AND BRATS. AND MORESO, I AM NOT A VOICE OF THIS VOICE
I AM A VOICE "YOU," YOU "YOU," WHOEVER "YOU" ARE

LET MY TONGUE LICK YOUR INNERMOST
LESS ROMANTICALLY, LET MY TYPE WORDS THAT DON'T FAIL
LET ME PUT FORTH MY BEST "FOOT," WHICH IS A REFERENCE TO PROSODY, GO ME.
LET MY LITTLE HEART SING LIKE LARYNGITIS AT CHRISTMAS

LET UNDO ME WHAT UNDO ME
AND SO FORTH, AND LET THIS POEM NOT FAIL
AS SO MANY POEMS HAVE FAILED

I LOVE YOU, I MEAN, I'M SORRY

2009-09-01T15:12:00.000-07:00

WHAT DID I MEAN BY "YOUR DRESS, YOUR BLACK DRESS, YOUR FACE, KNIFE ME."
AND SOMETIMES, THE BLACKENING OF YOU AGAINST THE DAY WOULD DRINK ME
UNDER THE TABLE AND WARN ME WITH A GLANCE. BUT THESE DAYS, THESE FUCKING
DAYS, WILL KEEP ME AND KEEP ME.

AND I WILL KEEP THIS FACEBOOK GIFT FOREVER
THIS IMAGE OF A FOAM GLOVE. THIS WILL REMIND ME OF THE FALSE IDENTITIES
THAT YOU AND I AND EVERYONE FUCKS INTO THE SAND.

AND RIGHT NOW I AM SHAKING AND I KEEP THINKING THAT WE ARE ONLY
DIRT MOVING IN VAGUELY INTERESTING WAYS.

THE NUMBERS 1 - 4 AND SOME WORDS

2009-08-27T01:29:00.000-07:00

1.

TODAY I ATE LUNCH ALONE IN A DINER AND AS I ATE I
FELT LIKE DEATH IS A CONTINUOUS FUCKING OF THE VEINS BY GOD.
TOMORROW I WANT TO EAT LUNCH INSIDE OF YOU BUT
INSTEAD OF FEELING SAD, I WANT TO FEEL LIKE A TWO-HEADED
MANNEQUIN WITH NO ARMS AND NO IMAGINATION
MODELING A SWEATER.

2.

MY CHEEKS ARE HANG GLIDING AROUND THE ROOM TOWARDS YOUR SHAKING HANDS.
I WANT TO GO BACK TEN YEARS AND MAKE AN ACTIVISION GAME ABOUT A
HELICOPTER PILOT CONVINCING MY BLOOD TO ESCAPE THROUGH MY FEET AND
THROUGH MY SLEEPING EYES. THEN I WANT MY BLOOD'S HELICOPTER PILOT TO DIE.

3.

MY MEDITATION IN AN EMERGENCY IS ME
PRAYING MY WIRELESS MOUSE WILL KILL ME.

3A.

WHEN I SAY "WIRELESS MOUSE" I MEAN "YOU"
AND "HOW I LOVED YOU BUT I FELT LIKE IT
WAS NEVER QUITE EQUALLY RECIPROCATED EVEN
THOUGH I WOULD WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE NIGHT LYING NEXT TO YOU IN A COLD
SWEAT THINKING IMMEDIATELY ABOUT DEATH AND
HOW IT WOULD MEAN THE ABSOLUTE CESSATION OF
MY COMPLETE DEDICATION TO YOU THROUGH NO
FAULT OF MY OWN OTHER THAN THAT I AM MADE
OUT OF BLOOD AND NOT GOLD LIKE I WISH I WAS."

4.

SHOOT AT ME WITH A SHOULDER-MOUNTED MISSLE ONCE IN A WHILE. OR MAYBE I'LL
JUST CREATE A NEW SIGNIFIER FOR YOU. MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE "POP ROCKS." AND WHEN POP ROCKS ARE FINALLY GONE YOU WILL FINALLY BE GONE FROM MY BLOOD, BONES, DRYWALL, SKY, ETC. ETC. ETC. FUCK.

THE DRUNK SONNETS PROMOTIONAL VIDEO

2009-08-22T16:53:00.001-07:00

IF I DELETE ALL MY INTERNET PROFILES WILL YOU LOVE ME COMPLETELY

2009-08-18T22:34:00.000-07:00

MY NAME IS ON SO MANY DUMB THINGS. SOMETIMES I FEEL FAMOUS WHEN I GET A GOOGLE ALERT.
THEN I FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF. I WONDER IF I CAN DROWN MYSELF IN PEANUT BUTTER.
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY POSITION MY BODY KNOWS IS "HUNCHED OVER A GLOWING THING."
I WISH I HAD MORE GOOD THINGS TO SAY THAT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE THINK I KNEW THINGS.

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A PENGUIN WITH A MUSTACHE. I FEEL LIKE THE LAUGHING STOCK
OF PENGUINS. LIKE I FORGOT TO PUT THE PENGUIN EGG UNDER MY ASS SACK AND ACCIDENTALLY
ABORTED IT BECAUSE I WAS TOO BUSY READING. BUT NONE OF THEM ARE MAD BECAUSE THEY
REALIZE IT TAKES A LOT OF ENERGY TO RAISE A PENGUIN BABY. AND ENERGY IS SCARCE.

SOMETIMES I THINK OF WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO WAKEBOARD INSIDE OF YOUR CHEEKS OR TO
BORROW A TI-83 TO DO A MATH PROBLEM INSIDE OF YOUR BELLY. MY FIRST QUESTION WOULD BE
DOES THIS TI-83 HAVE ANY GAMES ON IT? MY SECOND QUESTION WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE WHEN
I DIE WILL YOU TAKE MY ASHES AND TURN ME INTO PRADA SUNGLASSES? WILL YOU FUCKING DO THAT?

2009-08-10T00:35:00.000-07:00

WHEN YOU WANT NOTHING
THERE IS NOTHING.
NO ONE CAN FORCE YOU
TO DO ANYTHING
UNLESS
BY MEANS OF VIOLENCE.
AND EVEN THEN
THINGS ARE IFFY.
SO YOU
TRY TO RELAX
AND
SETTLE INTO
COMFORT.
I'VE FORGOTTEN
HOW THIS FEELS.
I'M FORGETTING EVERYTHING
I THOUGHT MEANT A GREAT
DEAL TO ME.
NOW THERE IS JUST
A SILENCE
SWEATPANTS
AND RAGGED
T SHIRTS
AMONGST THE BIGGEST
BLACK HOLE VOID
YOU COULD
EVER IMAGINE.
I WISH I COULD
REMEMBER THE SMALL THINGS.
YOU KNOW.
THE GOOD STUFF.
THE THINGS THAT MAKES YOUR ARM HAIRS
STAND STRAIGHT UP.
YOUR THROAT
GO DRY
AND YOUR
CHEST BEG FOR MORE ROOM
TO GRATIFY YOUR HEART.
BUT THE THOUGHTS,
AND THE MOMENTS,
THEY ALWAYS SEEM
TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS
OF MY HANDS
AND AS I GET OLDER
I KEEP FORGETTING THAT I HAVE
CONTROL OF MY FINGERS
TO STOP THAT FROM
HAPPENING.

THE WORST

2009-07-09T17:57:00.000-07:00

I LIKE TO JUMP AND GO "EEEEP!" WHEN SOMEONE ATTRACTIVE LOOKS AT ME

2009-04-06T19:25:00.000-07:00

WHENEVER THERE IS R & B MUSIC ON I FEEL FUCKING STUPID.

IT'S DISGUSTING SOME OF THE THINGS I HAVE BECOME COMFORTABLE WITH.

I HAVE A HARD TIME SLEEPING BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS WORRIED SOMETHING AWESOME IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN MY APARTMENT AND I WILL MISS IT, LIKE MAYBE EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE COLOR.

TAKE YOURSELF OUT OF THE BEST FRIEND GAME WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE.

I WANT TO BE A SOUTHERN WRITER

2009-03-25T01:23:00.000-07:00

I'MA BE DEAD BY THE TIME I'M 49
DEAD WITH A GUN NEXT TO MY BODY
NO BULLET HOLES OR NUTHIN'
IT WEREN'T NO BULLETS KILLED ME
IT WERE THE CHICKEN BONE
I GOT LODGED IN MY THROAT

DRUNK SONNET 59

2009-03-16T23:12:00.001-07:00

I APOLOGIZE TO ALL MY FRIENDS FOR MY DISAPPEARANCE
FOR MY NOT CALLING, MY STRANGENESS,
FOR ALL THE DRINKS I WON'T HAVE TIME TO BUY YOU
FOR ALL THE DRINKS I OWE YOU, FOR THE TIME

I WOULD RATHER HAVE FRIENDS THAT I LOVE
THAN A LOVER THAT DOESN'T LOVE MY FRIENDS
I WOULD RATHER GIVE MY LOVE TO MY FRIENDS
UNTIL I FIND A LOVER QUITE DESERVING

FORTHCOMING FROM DANIEL BAILEY AND FRIENDS:
MUNCIE ON FIRE, BEFORE MAY, BEFORE WE ALL LEAVE
BEFORE ALL OF THIS ENDS

I FEEL SO MUCH LIKE A POP PUNK SONG RIGHT NOW
THIS FEELING IS GREAT, LIKE DEFEATING THE NAZIS
I WANT TO SAVE THIS FUTURE HISTORY INSIDE US

DRUNK SONNET 58

2009-03-16T23:05:00.000-07:00

I HAVE MELTED THE BULLSHIT ACROSS MY CHEST
I HAVE SMELT IT EVERY NIGHT
EVEN IF I HAVE NOT DELT IT
FUCK THIS POEM

FUCK ALL THESE POEMS
FUCK ALL POEMS
POEMS CANNOT CONSOLE
POEMS ARE ALL LIKE WHA WHA WHA

THIS POEM IS A SHITBOMB
SMEARED ACROSS THIS PAGE
BY A MOTHERFUCKING TERRORIST

IT IS BLOWING UP REALLY HARD
AND WITHOUT REMORSE
I AM SORRY FOR THIS SHITTY POEM

DRUNK SONNET 56

2009-03-16T22:51:00.000-07:00

IF I AM NOT A HEART ATTACK
THEN I AM A SHARK ATTACK
I JUST BIT SOME LEG OFF
OF I DON'T KNOW WHAT

I LIVE MY LIFE LIKE I EAT MY BURRITOS
WITHOUT REMORSE, WITH HEART, LIKE A SHARK
ATTACKING A BUILDING IN THE SKY OF THE OCEAN
THE ONE THAT EXISTS FOR MOMENTS LIKE THESE

WHERE THE SPINNING IS NOT DISEASE
WHERE THE CHAMBERS OF THE HEART
ARE ALL FILLED WITH N64 CONSOLES

AND MY VEINS ARE THE N64 GAMING SYSTEM
I CANNOT BE CONSOLED RIGHT NOW
I AM IN GOLDENEYE. I CARRY THE GOLDEN GUN

DRUNK SONNET 55

2009-03-16T22:45:00.001-07:00

I NEVER PLANNED ON DYING
BUT I KNOW PEOPLE WHO ARE
WHAT I MEAN, IS I AM GOING
TO SOME FUNERALS SOON

TODAY I WATCHED A KID PUNCH SPIDERS
INTO A WALL AND SMASH THEM TO DEATH
HE WAS LAUGHING. I LISTENED TO HIS FISTS
SMASH AGAINST THE WALL. I JUST WATCHED

HIS STEP-DAD ONCE THREW A JAR OF SPIDERS
INTO HIS BED. HE WAS FIVE.
SPIDERS TERRIFY HIM

ANOTHER OF HIS STEP-DADS PUT TURDS
IN HIS BED. HE WAS A LITTLE OLDER
I DON'T KNOW IF HE'S AFRAID OF TURDS

DRUNK SONNET 54

2009-03-16T22:43:00.001-07:00

I AM A HEARTLESS HEART THAN CANNOT POSSIBLY LOVE. EVER
WHEN I LOOK AT THE HORIZON IT IS ALL CLUTTER
I CANNOT SEE ABOVE THE MESS, THE TREES, THE HOUSES
EVEN THE SKY LOOKS MESSY AROUND HERE

IF I MELTED ONTO THE SIDEWALK, IT WOULD GO UNNOTICED
HAVE YOU SEEN ME MELTED? IT'S A LITTLE BIT MESSY, BUT GOOD
ONE TIME I WATCHED YOU SLEEP, AND I FELL ASLEEP
ONE TIME I GOT ANGRY, AND MY HEART EXPLODED

THEN I DIDN'T HAVE A HEART
WHAT WAS I TO DO?
I DID NOTHING

I SHOULD'VE LOOKED FOR MY HEART
I SHOULD'VE SAT ON THE BRIDGE
I SMOKED A LOT OF CIGARETTES. THAT WAS IT

ASSHOLE BLOOD LICKING POEM

2009-03-12T22:29:00.000-07:00

I WANT TO DRAG MY ASS ACROSS YOUR TONGUE
LIKE YOUR TONGUE IS THE FLOOR,
WHICH IT IS,
BECAUSE I CUT OFF YOUR TONGUE
AND NAILED YOUR TONGUE TO THE FLOOR,

AND THE ONLY WORDS YOUR CAN TONGUE CAN REMEMBER
HOW TO PRONOUNCE ARE "I AM LICKING YOUR ASSHOLE
I AM LICKING YOUR ASSHOLE." AND MY ASSHOLE IS BLEEDING ON YOUR TONGUE
AS IT DRAGS ACROSS THE EDGES OF THE NAIL STUCK IN YOUR TONGUE,
AND YOUR TONGUE IS TASTING MY BLOOD, TASTING WHAT KEEPS ME ALIVE,
WHICH I HAVE WANTED YOU TO TASTE FOR THE LONGEST TIME.

2009-03-02T23:19:00.000-08:00

I SAW YOUR FRIEND ON THE SIDEWALK
AND MY STOMACH DROPPED
BECAUSE I SAW YOU THERE
UNDER THE DRIZZLE AND THE LIGHT
AND I REMEMBERED YOUR TOUCH
WHEN WE USED TO WALK DOWN THE STREET
WITH THE REST OF THEM.

YOU DRESSED YOURSELF AS AN ANGEL
AND LONGED FOR A BACK LITE HALO.
COUNTING THE CRACKS IN THE SIDEWALK
MOVING WITHOUT INTERRUPTING ANYTHING
EVER SO CAREFUL TO LEAVE EVERYTHING
LIKE IT WAS FOUND IN THE FIRST PLACE.
MAYBE YOU HAD THE UNDERSTOOD KNOWLEDGE
THAT NOTHING COULD BE CHANGED ANYWAYS.
THAT EVERYONE ONLY SAW THEMSELVES
IN THE THINGS THEY TOUCHED
AND THE NARCISSISM HAD GROWN
OUT OF CONTROL.

I KNEW THE SAME I SUPPOSE.
PEOPLE LONGED FOR PERFECTION.
IN THEIR ACTIONS, THOUGHTS, RELATIONSHIPS
WITH OTHERS.
WITHIN THE SUFFERING OF THE NARCISSISTS
BUBBLE THERE IS A SHARED EMOTION
WHICH CAN THEN BE FELT OR THROWN TO THE SIDE.

"THAT BUBBLE IS THE MOST TORTUROUS PLACE YOU CAN DWELL", I SAID.
YOU SAID NOTHING AND WONDERED
WHAT WAS WRONG.
AND WHEN I BROKE DOWN YOU DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.
WE WERE ON THE STREET, TEARS IN MY EYES,
ANGUISH AND APATHY ON MY TONGUE.

I COULDN'T SEE YOU.
THE CLOUD WAS TOO THICK.
I TOOK IT ALL IN, ALL THE TIME.
EVERYTHING
I TRIED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I FELT
AND IT WAS NO GOOD.
THER WAS AN ANSWER, ALWAYS, ALWAYS THE SAME.
IT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR
I WAS MAD YOU SEE
CRAZED, MISUNDERSTOOD.
THE ANGELS AND THE DEVILS FOUGHT
ABOVE ME, AND THE SOUND WAS OVERWHELMING.
THERE WAS NO WAY TO CALM THEM.

YOU LEFT A NOTE,
PAGES OF WHY YOU LOVED ME
AND AS I STOOD ON THE STREET
AT YOUR FRIENDS FACE, THER WAS NOTHING TO DO
AGAIN, BUT
PUT MY EYES DOWN TO THE GUTTER
AND WATCH OTHER PEOPLES WORDS
GO DOWN THE DRAIN.

AN ESSAY ON LONELINESS

2009-02-26T23:46:00.000-08:00

WRITING POEMS WITH FOUR LINES WAS A STUPID IDEA

2009-02-26T23:28:00.000-08:00

I AM
DONE
WITH
THAT

WHAT IF I PULLED THE WALL DOWN?

2009-02-26T23:25:00.000-08:00

IT WOULD FALL ON ME
IT WOULD HURT A LOT
I DON'T LIKE HURTING
I THINK I COULD HOLD IT UP

WHAT IS THE WORST FLAVOR OF ALL THE SKITTLES RAINBOW

2009-02-26T23:24:00.001-08:00

PURPLE!
NO ORANGE!
NO GREEN!
NO PISS!

CAN I TRASH COMPACT MY BODY INTO A SMALLER ME

2009-02-26T23:21:00.000-08:00

WHAT IS THE WORLD'S RECORD FOR THE MOST
CONSECUTIVE NIGHTS ALONE
I KNOW I AM NOWHERE NEAR THAT
BUT I CAN FEEL WHAT IT WOULD FEEL LIKE

HEY, WHATEVER RIGHT NOW

2009-02-17T23:18:00.000-08:00

I WANT TO COMPLAIN BUT I CAN'T
WHO WOULD EVEN LISTEN?

I GO TO WORK AND I WORK
AND THEN I COME HOME
AND THEN I AM HOME
I GUESS

I JUST TOUCHED MY TEETH
THE BONES OF MY MOUTH

I JUST SMASHED EGGS INTO THE CARPET

I JUST TRUSTED MYSELF TO MAKE A DECISION

I WANT TO TAKE A BATH TONIGHT
AND I WANT TO SWALLOW ALL THE BATH WATER
HOW CAN I BATHE WITHOUT FEELING LONELY?

WATER SHIT
APE SHIT
LOOK INTO
THE FIRE
SHIT
NO

BLAB

OH

LET'S PUSH ALL THE EARTH
INTO OUR MOUTHS AND SWALLOW

IF I COULD LOOK THROUGH THIS WALL
I'D ONLY SEE ANOTHER WALL
THAT'S HOW LIFE IS, I THINK
ENDLESS WALLS, ENDLESS

I LIKELISTENING TO EMO MUSIC
I LIKE THE ROCKS THAT ALWAYS END UP IN SNOWPILES
I LIKE THE HEARTS THAT NEVER WORK

WHAT HAPPENS HAPPENS
I KNOW THAT
AND SHIT HAPPENS
BUT WHATEVER
FOREVER

I WANT TO SLOWHUG ALL OF EVERYONE
AH YEAH, SON, EVERYONE
SHEEIT

BUOYANT BLANK AND DEEP SEA
TIL OUR SHIT DON'T WORK NO MORE
LET'S FUCKIN SANK

I AM NOT WORTHLESS, I KNOW
NO ONE IS
I CAN'T FEEL
LET'S JUST FUCKING HANG OUT
AND TOUCH SOME FACE
WHATEVA WUT

I WANT TO FEEL MY WAY AROUND THE INSIDE

2009-02-17T22:35:00.000-08:00

OF YOUR MOUTH AND MAYBE LICK THE INSIDE OF YOU
MAYBE IF WE STILL TALK TOMORROW WE COULD PRAY
WITH OUR TONGUES ON THE PAGES OF EACH OTHERS'
BODIES AND MAYBE EVEN SMASH OUR HEADS TOGETHER
UNTIL OUR BLOOD GETS IN OUR EYES AND ALL WE
SEE IS OUR BLOOD AND ALL WE KNOW IS OUR BLOOD
AND WE WILL PASS OUT FROM LOSS OF BLOOD AND
AND WAKE UP SHIVERING IN A PUDDLE OF COLD
BLOOD AND THEN MAYBE FUCK WHILE WE DIE
I LIKE YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW

I AM DRUNK

2009-02-17T22:25:00.000-08:00

YES, I AM DRUNK

AND I AM TRYING VERY HARD
TO NOT BE SO USED TO IT

I'VE GOT SOME LOVE
IT'S LIKE A BEARCUB GLIDING
DOWN THE MOUNTAINBANK SNOWBANK
JUST MOVING LIKE A BEARCUB MOVES

THE COOLEST THING ABOUT LIFE
IS THAT SOME PEOPLE GET SO EXCITED
THAT THEY ACTUALLY BELIEVE
LIFE WILL NEVER END

THAT'S INCREDIBLE!
LIFE IS GOING TO END!
I WISH I HAD YOUR FAITH!
I WISH I COULD LOVE
THE WAY YOU LOVE!

BUT RIGHT NOW, I AM ALONE
AND I HAVE FELT THIS WAY
FOR A LONG TIME
AND I HAVE GOTTEN USED TO IT

I'M TRYING VERY HARD TO ALIENATE READERS AND REDUCE BLOG HITS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW YOU AND WILL NEVER CARE ABOUT YOU

2009-01-28T23:38:00.000-08:00

AT THIS POINT
I AM OBSESSED WITH MYSELF
LIKE I AM TWELVE
BUT I WASN'T OBSESSED WITH MYSELF
I HATED MY TWELVE ME AT TWELVE

WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS DRUNK POEM WRITING ANYWAY

I'M GOING TO GO MICROWAVE SOME PIZZA

MOST NIGHTS I FEEL LIKE A MESS
THAT IS NOT AN INTERESTING SIMILE
I AM A HORRIBLE POET

I ACTUALLY APPLIED TO A COUPLE GRAD SCHOOLS
IF YOU ARE A GRAD SCHOOL, DON'T ACCEPT ME
LOOK AT HOW HORRIBLE THAT SIMILE WAS
IT WAS LIKE TOTALLY A BUNCH OF SHIT

I AM DISCOURAGED, ALL YOU WORLD OUT THERE
I AM DISCOURAGED
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ANYMORE

MY HEAD KEEPS MOVING AROUND ITSELF
THERE IS NO FOCUS ANYMORE
IT IS LIKE A STARCHART WITHOUT THE STARS

I FEEL LIKE THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD SIMILE
MAYBE I AM WORTH SOMETHING AFTER ALL

IT WASN'T A GREAT SIMILE, BUT WHATEVER
AT LEAST GIVE ME SOME CREDIT
I AM TRYING

OK, BUT I WANT REALLY WANT TO SAY IS

I'M GOING TO SKIP THE LINE THAT COMES AFTER THAT LAST LINE
I CAN'T ANSWER THAT

I THINK MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DIED HANGING THEMSELVES
REALLY BELIEVED THE NOOSE WOULD BREAK FIRST

I DON'T LIKE POEMS ANYMORE
I DON'T LIKE WRITING ANYMORE

THE REST OF THIS POEM WILL NOT BE A POEM

OH MY GOD
I SAID THAT
OH MY GOD
AND I SAID IT AGAIN

I WILL NOT TRY ANYMORE

THERE IS TOO MUCH SNOW OUTSIDE

I AM DEPRESSED

I FEEL I HAVE TRIED TOO HARD

I SHOULD GO TO SLEEP AND FORGET HOW I FEEL

IF I REMEMBER WRITING THIS TOMORROW
I WILL THINK, "I SHOULD READ THE DRUNK POEM
I WROTE LAST NIGHT"

I WILL PROBABLY FEEL EMBARRASSED ABOUT THIS POEM
AND MAYBE DELETE IT

I DON'T KNOW WHY I'LL FEEL EMBARRASSED
PEOPLE WHO COMMENT ON THIS BLOG OR MY BLOG
WHO AREN'T MY FRIENDS
MEAN NOTHING TO ME

THE DRUNK SONNETS

2009-01-25T16:55:00.000-08:00

ORDER THE DRUNK SONNETS IN BOOK FORM HERE

DRUNK SONNET 1

I'M A LITTLE HUNGRY BUT DRUNK
I WANT FORGIVENESS IN A BEEHIVE
LIKE A DOG WITH THE BENDS IN THE ARCTIC
AND COVERED IN ICE FURS

MY FIRST PRAYER TO GOD WENT
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M DOING THIS RIGHT
MY LAST PRAYER TO GOD WENT
I KNOW FOR A FACT I'M NOT DOING THIS RIGHT

I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT AND AT DAY I DONT' WANT AWAKE
AND A BODY THAT RUSTS INTO HARD AND AND UNBELIEVABLE
I WILL BE NOT ALIVE FOREVER EXCEPT FOR THE DRY BED

MY HANDS ARE TOO SMALL TO CARRY WHATEVER THIS IS
ACTUALLY, A HABIT OF DOLPHINS THAT LIVE IN CAPTIVITY
TO EAT FISH OUT OF BUCKETS AND SLEEP IN THE SALT AND THE WATER

DRUNK SONNET 8

I WANT TO LOVE BUT PLEASE LET ME KNOW
HOW IS THAT I CAN YOU CAN EVEN EXIST NOW
I JUST FELT THE ALCOHOL IN MY FEET
MY HEART HAS A LOT INSIDE IT I THINK, EVEN STILL

IF EVERYONE IS OK THEN WHY I AM I NOT
IT'S OK TO CRY A LITTLE, I THINK, JUST CRY
I THINK I WANT TO EAT YOUR SMILE TONIGHT
I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING IN IT TO KEEP ME ALIVE

I'M LOOKING AT THIS SLEEPING CAT RIGHT NOW
AND HE JUST SHIFTED A LITTLE AND IT WAS NICE
AND THE OCEAN'S FLOOR IS SO FAR AWAY

SINKING TOGETHER WOULD BE A COMMITMENT
AND RISING TOGETHER AN EVEN BIGGER ONE
BUT I THINK THAT ALL THAT WATER IS TOO MUCH

DRUNK SONNET 10

THE AIRPORT IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
THE GROCERY STORE IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
PETSMART IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
THE THAI PLACE IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST

MY OWN BED IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
INSIDE MY CAR IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
ALL THESE STREETS, THIS CITY, THIS STATE
THIS COUNTRY IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST

IN FRONT OF THIS TV IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
IN THIS BODY IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
IN THIS AIR IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST

I'M THINKING ABOUT EVOLUTION AND THE WAY WE CHANGE
AND HOW LONG IT WILL BE BEFORE I HAVE A TAIL AGAIN
AND I CAN FORGET ALL THAT'S HAPPENED

DRUNK SONNET 14

IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON EVER THEN HEY
I AM HERE IT WOULD BE NICE TO TALK SOMETIME
INFOMERCIALS HAVE STARTED AND I KIND OF WANT TO DIE
I'M PRETTY SURE THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY FOR A MORGUE

OK SO ACTUALLY ITS FOR THE BIBLE OR SOMETHING
SO ITS A COMMERCIAL FOR TRYING TO BE HAPPY OR SOMETHING
BUT I AM NOT HAPPY TONIGHT NO I AM NOT JUST HERE
IF HAPPINESS EVER WORKED THEN HOW - I DON'T KNOW

HAPPINESS IS A LIZARD IN THE SUNLIGHT GETTING WARM
AND THEN IN THE NIGHT BENEATH A ROCK EATING FLIES
AND THE FLIES TASTE LIKE COLD HOT PUS

AH, SO TONIGHT IS A LITTLE DRUNK AND OK OK OK
THAT IS GOOD SO LET ME BE - THERE IS NO LOVE TONIGHT
GOD IS LIKE BONO - SOME DICKWAD NO ONE WILL EVER MEET OR LIKE

DRUNK SONNET 17

I AM NOT STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU, NO
I AM NOT STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU AT ALL
I AM NOT STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU
STILL, I AM NOT AT ALL THINKING ABOUT YOU

NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU, NO I'M NOT
WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT? NOT YOU
IF I AM THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING, IT'S NOT YOU
YOU ARE NOT A THING I'M THINKING ABOUT

WHAT SHOULD I THINK ABOUT? NOT YOU
WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY THINK ABOUT?
WHAT IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT BUT YOU?

THERE'S PLENTY TO THINK ABOUT IN THIS WORLD
WHAT IN MY LIFE AM I THINKING ABOUT?
I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU, THANK GOD

DRUNK SONNET 18

I’M GOING TO DRINK ALL THE BEER
IN MY APARTMENT TONIGHT
IT’S A LOT AND IT’S GOING TO HURT
AND I ASSURE YOU TOMORROW WILL BE HARD

IF YOU CAN SEE ME RIGHT NOW SAY, YES
EVERY DAY WE ARE NICE THINGS
WRAPPED IN A BLANKET ON A COUCH
TRYING TO BE WARM AND EVEN WARMER

THE HEAT IS TURNED UP TO 80
I AM WEARING SWEAT PANTS, A SWEATER
I AM IN A BLANKET, INDOORS

OUTSIDE, BIRDS ARE SWARMING TO THE SOUTH
THEY ARE LEAVING TOGETHER, BEAUTIFULLY
TOMORROW THEY WILL MAYBE BE IN KENTUCKY

DRUNK SONNET 21

THIS BEER IS GOOD
THIS APARTMENT IS GOOD
NOT HAVING TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW
THAT IS GOOD TOO

WORK IS SOMETIMES GOOD
GOING HOME NEXT MONTH IS GOOD
THE STREET I LIVE ON IS GOOD
THE ROOF ABOVE ME IS GOOD

THE DVD I WAS WATCHING IS GOOD
THE MUSIC I’M LISTENING TO IS GOOD
THIS SWEATER IS GOOD AND KEEPS ME WARM

LIFE CAN BE GOOD IF WE WORK AT IT
WE ARE ALL GOOD IF WE TRY
AND TRYING IS A VERY GOOD THING

DRUNK SONNET 27

IN THE FUTURE I DIED AND IT WAS FUN
IT WAS LIKE A ROCKING CHAIR WITH AN OLD LADY
GETTING ANGRY AT MIDNIGHT TRAINS IN JULY
IT WAS AWESOME AND IT REALLY SUCKED

WHEN YOU SEE YOUR BODY QUIT ITSELF
IT’S LIKE WATCHING A CAR WRECK IN THE RURAL SOUTH
FROM AN EXTREME DISTANCE IN 1923
AND ALL THE WORLD’S TOMMY GUNS ARE IN MOURNING

I COULD LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER RIGHT NOW
THAT’S THE WAY IT IS WHEN YOU DIE, I THINK
I COULD LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER

IT JUST ALL COMES OUT AND IT’S THERE
MY BELIEF IN YOU OR DISBELIEF IN YOU
IT DOESN’T MATTER EITHER WAY

DRUNK SONNET 45

THE MOON IS LIKE A BAYONET IN THE CHEST SOMETIMES
I SAY THAT BECAUSE TONIGHT IS BLOOD

I JUST WANT TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN
THE CARPET LOOKS LIKE GRAVEL
I NEED TO KEEP MY HEAD UP TONIGHT

YOUR WONDERFUL LIGHT ABOVE
THE STREET IS HARD AND COLD AND ALL
IT HAS EVERYTHING FOR MY CAR

THE SIDEWALK HAS ENOUGH FOR MY SHOES
THE MOON ENOUGH FOR THE LEAVES OUTSIDE
TO BE NOTICED AND TO SHINE LIKE THEY DO

I COULD PRACTICALLY RIP MYSELF APART
AND WHAT WOULD I EVEN FIND BUT YOUR LOVE
THAT I’VE SAVED UP LIKE CRUMBS

DRUNK SONNET 53

I HOPE ALL THE LOVE I’VE EVER FELT GETS RUPTURED
LIKE A COMET BREAKING THE ATMOSPHERE TONIGHT
I HOPE A LITTLE BOY IN RUSSIA IS AFRAID OF WHAT IS HAPPENING
I HOPE WE CAN LEARN TO CARE AGAIN, THAT IS ALL

I THINK ABOUT IT NOW AND HOW IT NEVER MADE SENSE
HOW WE ARE TINY BANQUETS FOR A RETIRED JANITOR
ATTENDED ONLY BY THE RATS AND THE MOPS
THAT HE ATTENDED TO IN HIS AMAZING CAREER

HE KEPT THREE STORIES CLEANER THAN I CAN KEEP MY OWN HEART
GODDAMMIT, HOW DOES THIS EVEN WORK

AND THE LITTLE BOY IN RUSSIA IS JUST CRYING IN BED
LIKE A LITTLE GIRL IN IOWA, THE NIGHT AFTER HER BIRTHDAY

I FEEL LIKE A SMALL TRIBE OF HALLELUJAHS
GETTING SENT UP TONIGHT, STUCK IN THE RAFTERS, ECHOING

ARCHDUKE FERDINAND POLLY POCKET WU TANG VIBRATE

2009-01-11T01:05:00.000-08:00

1.

"I HAVE A REALLY SHORT DRESS ON AND I HOPE THAT SOMEONE FUCKS ME AND THEN NAMES AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER AFTER ME. I AM A POLLY POCKET -- EXCEPT THAT I'M SO MUCH BIGGER AND FUCKABLE."

2.

I'M GOING TO RUN AROUND AND REMEMBER THINGS IN A CIRCLE AND TRY TO MAKE THEM AN "ALBUM" THAT I CAN "TAG" WITH MY BRAIN. YOU, I WILL TAG UNDER "HAPLESS."

3.

IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG LONG LONG TIME BEFORE WE ALL FALL INTO THE SUN AND OUR ATOMS VIBRATE OFF OUR BONES AND THEN COMPLETELY AWAY INTO OPPOSITE CORNERS OF THE UNIVERSE, BUT I CAN ALREADY FEEL A FEW MIGRATING. I WANT MY ATOMS TO END UP NEXT TO THE ATOMS THAT OCCUPIED THE BODY OF SOMEONE I KNEW. I HOPE IT'S NOT PRESUMPTUOUS TO CONSIDER THEM "MY ATOMS."

4.

I AM ROD BLAGOJEVICH, I TOTALLY LOVE DANCING, POLLY POCKETS, AND HOLY WATER MARTINIS. FRIEND ME.

5.

TONIGHT, THE MOON IS A JESS ROWAN LOVES ALEX BURFORD MOON. YOU GUYS SHOULD TOTALLY CALL IT, "UNFORGETTABLE." OR MISSPELL IT. WITH AN I, INSTEAD. TELL JENNIFER "HI" FOR ME. TELL HER "SORRY FOR GETTING HER A DRINK WHEN SHE WAS CLEARLY ALREADY INTOXICATED AS SHIT." IT'S JUST THAT THE PATTERNS ON MY QUILT ARE STARTING TO SEEP INTO MY BRAIN. IT'S THAT MY BRAIN IS STARTING TO MELT INTO MY QUILT. IT'S A LOT OF THINGS ALL AT ONCE.

5A.

IT'S THE WU TANG CLAN DREDGING THE PITT RIVER. IT'S THE NAOMI WATTS OF MY THIGH -- CLARIFICATION, THE NAOMI WATTS OF MY PITT RIVER. IT'S MAYBE SOMETHING.

5B.

IT'S THE FIRST THING I EVER CAN REMEMBER -- ME, PRETTY MUCH NAKED, SITTING IN A POOL OR SOMETHING. BUT I CAN'T TELL IF I REMEMBER IT OR IF IT'S A HOME MOVIE. THERE IS A HOME MOVIE OF ME, ON MY BACK, HOLDING A BOTTLE WITH MY FEET. I'M PRETTY SURE IT EXISTS SOMEWHERE.

6.

BECAUSE OF ALL THESE THINGS (ALL OF THESE THINGS) I WANT TO INHERIT ALL THE MOON'S MINERALS, STUFF THEM IN MY VEINS, AND CALL MYSELF "IMPERVIOUS." I WILL GET MY VITAMINS FROM BRITNEY SPEARS' "WOMANIZER." I AM DOING THIS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SHIT ASS AND I WANT TO HAVE VITAMIN BRITNEY IN MY BLOOD SO I CAN FEEL STRONG AND LIKE I'M CONSTANTLY ON THE VERGE OF WARRING WITH AUSTRIA -- ARCHDUKE FERDINAND IS MY POLLY POCKET AND ALL THAT.

7.

YOU -- SHOULD -- KEEP -- IT -- REAL. WITH MAYBE AN EQUALS SIGN TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH I WANT TO DO IT. I WANT TO STUFF IT IN YOUR POCKET WITH MY EMOTIONS. I WANTED TO SAY "FACIAL EXPRESSIONS" BUT I FEEL LIKE TAO LIN HAS A COPYRIGHT ON "FACIAL EXPRESSIONS." YOU SHOULD KEEP THIS JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE. MAYBE NOT TOO LONG. DON'T KEEP IT TOO LONG. I WILL WANT THESE ALL BACK. EVERYTHING. ALL OF THIS.

7A.

THIS: A NARCOLEPTIC PONDERER -- A CARPET FONDLER. NINE OUT OF TEN CHOSE. AN UPWARD ARROW, A DOWNWARD ARROW, A SIDEWAYS ARROW, A SIDEWAYS ARROW. IT "IGNITES" THE TIME OUT. IT "RULES AND DOMINATES" YOUR SATURDAY. IT BLEEDS YOU DRY, YOU SELFISH SHIT. IT HARD-ONS FOR YOUR MAYBE-SO.

8.

IN TWO PIECES -- FOLDED "NO, I DON'T KNOW WHY, I'M STILL DEPRESSED, I SEE EVERYTHING, I AM THE WU TANG CLAN POLLY POCKET." TWO PIECES -- DIRE POLLY POCKET. MY PORES WILL SEETHE. DRESS SEXY TO MY "NEXT MONDAY." DRESS SEXY TO MY "CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE." WHEN THEY COME TO GET MY ATOMS, DRESS SEXY. I WILL NOT AFFECT MY VOICE FOR THIS.

9.

THE GOOD OLD DAYS. THEY WERE KIND OF SEXY LIKE POLLY POCKET. I USED TO CARRY THEM AROUND. I WOULD HAVE THE GOOD OLD DAYS IN ONE POCKET AND BUBBLE TAPE IN ANOTHER POCKET. OR FRUIT BY THE FOOT OR SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW FOR SURE IF ANY OF THIS MATTERS AT ALL. IT'S JUST THE TOP OF A BUILDING, AND ALL THAT. IT'S JUST LIKE, MY BRAIN, SQUEAKING OUT A BUNCH OF FINGER FUCKING.

9A.

IT'S NOT EASY TO DO. IT'S NOT EASY TO DO. IT'S NOT EASY TO DO IT. IT'S NOT SO EASY TO DO IT.

10.

DO YOU WANT TO PLAY POLLY POCKET? OKAY, I WILL PLAY WITH YOU WITH MY MIGHTY MAX. IT'S REALLY MIGHTY. IT WILL BE SPECTACULAR, LIKE THE EXISTENCE OF A BROWSER WINDOW, MAGICALLY. DON'T GET BORED. I SWEAR.

11.

THAT'S NOT HOW YOU -- DO -- IT. I KNOW, THIS IS "FORMLESS." MY NAME IS HAROLD, I AM AN IMPOSTOR. I'M A QUART OF MONOLITH. I AM A PINT OF POTTER'S VODKA AND I'M SUCKING MY WAY THROUGH YOUR PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL A LITTLE LIKE SOME EGG WHITES. YOU ARE GOT FINDING AND GOT AND FINDING AND GOT AND WHAT'S THAT. I WILL SHARE THE CLOUT. I WILL FIGHT YOU FOR THE CLOUT AND THEN SHARE IT.

12.

I WILL SHARE YOUR STOMPING POLLY POCKET IN AN ALCOVE, PROBABLY. CAN I "WOOF" AT YOUR HOOD? YOU AILERON? YOU IMPINGED DONGLE OF SERIOUS BEAUTY?

13.

ME AND ROD BLAGOJEVICH AND POLLY POCKET AND THE WU TANG CLAN LOVE DABBING YOUR WET BUTTHOLE WITH A PINOCHLE DECK. LOLLERCOPTER. I WILL FINANCE YOU. UH! I AM SERIOUSLY YOUR "WET-HANDED LOVER." I AM SERIOUSLY YOUR "MOOGERFOOGER." I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T STOP BEING MEAN I WILL GIVE YOU A SAD FACE WITH MY LIPS THAT I OWN ON MY FACE THAT IS KIND OF REAL UNTIL THE SUN TAKES IT.

14.

I'M GOING TO RUN AROUND -- IT'S NOT EASY TO DO -- EQUALLING OUT THE DAY-TO-DAY HEIDEGGER POLLY POCKET RALLIES. THE TYPE OF NUMBERS THAT TURN YOUR BONES TO GLASGOW. IT'S ALL YOU ALL JUST SPILLING ALL DEAD AND SPILLING (YOU, INTO HER, INTO THEM). IT'S YOU ALL -- DEAD -- SPILLING INTO EACH OTHER. IT'S THE KIND OF THING THAT CHILLS ME AND I PAUSE IN THE MOON SLASH SUN BECAUSE WHO KNOWS WHOSE ATOMS ARE WHOSE.

15.

THE ARROWS, AGAIN. THE GENTLE PULL, UNLESS YOU ARE LIGHT -- YOU CAN GNASH YOUR TEETH ALL YOU WANT. FIND A HOLE -- THAT'S WHAT SARTRE SAYS -- FIND ONE THAT FITS YOUR BODY. GO LOOK AT A BUILDING FOR SOME YOU-SIZED CRACKS OR SOMETHING. OR LOSE WEIGHT AND BECOME KEY-SIZED. FEVER. THAT GENTLE PULL. TOP OF THE HEAD, DOWN. WIGGLE-FREE IDENTITY SMASH--

16.

OH SHIT OH SHIT. HOW WILL I NEVER BE ABLE TO LISTEN TO MUSIC AGAIN. HOW WILL I NEVER BE ABLE TO SLEEP NEXT TO. HOW WILL I NEVER EVER EVER. "HOW WILL I NEVER UM SIGNAL THAT WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO POLITELY COME AFTER." BUT I CAN JUST HOLD THINGS LIKE A SECOND OR TWO AND IT FEELS LIKE A CONCRETE HOLDING OF THINGS. I AM GOING TO START GRABBING THINGS MORE OFTEN AND CONSIDERING MY PROXIMITY TO THEM AND HOPING THAT OUR ATOMS MIX OR ARE INTRODUCED AS "YOU KNOW SO AND SO FROM SAFEWAY." OKAY.

I WANT TO RECLAIM SOME KIND OF NAIVE THEORY ABOUT MY DIRTY, INEVITABLE DEATH

2009-01-08T00:44:00.000-08:00

YOU HAVE A MONKEY ON YOUR SHOULDER ONE MINUTE AND THE NEXT MINUTE YOU ARE PREGNANT. ONCE, I TRIED TO CONVINCE YOU TO CHUCK YOUR HANGINGS-ON TO THE PHYSICAL WORLD OR MAYBE YOU JUST TOLD ME ABOUT HOW SOME GUY CAME INSIDE OF YOU A LONG TIME AGO. I REMEMBER DRIVING HOME FROM YOUR HOUSE WHEN I WAS 16 -- STONED AS SHIT LISTENING TO BOB MARLEY AND THINKING THAT BOB MARLEY WAS SO DEEP AND ALSO THINKING HE WAS A FUCK BECAUSE I COULDN'T GET PAST YOUR BULLSHIT CUL-DE-SAC THAT WAS LITERALLY A HALF MILE FROM WHERE I WENT CAT FISHING AND ANOTHER HALF MILE FROM WHERE I GOLFED FOR FREE AND THOUGHT ABOUT HOW I COULD IMPREGNATE THE SMOOTH FAIRWAY. RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WHATEVER SHOULD LIVE AT LEAST A HALF MILE AWAY FROM EVERYONE ELSE AND JUST COMMUNICATE USING GMAIL CHAT AND ANNOUNCE THEIR BREAKFASTS USING TWITTER. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DO THE MATH TO SEE IF EVERYONE ON EARTH COULD ACTUALLY EVEN BE ONE HALF MILE AWAY FROM ANY OTHER PERSON ON EARTH? I WANT TO TAKE THIS LAST PIECE OF MY TIME TO APOLOGIZE TO MY GOOD FRIENDS FOR SUBJECTING THEM TO MY ANGSTY EXISTENTIAL DIATRIBE THAT I THINK WENT LIKE THIS: WAH WAH SARTRE, SARTRE DIDN'T KNOW LOVE, WAH WAH. I KNOW LOVE AND I KNOW LOVE AND I KNOW LOVE. AND I'M SORRY, DEAR FRIENDS, BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE A SHIT FUCK DOUCHE WHORE ZEBRA WHO HAS PISSED A LITTLE UNFRIENDLINESS ONTO YOUR BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP GRASS.

LISTENING TO FLEET FOXES GO 'AAAW OOOH'

2008-12-07T23:51:00.000-08:00

DO YOU HAVE JEHOVAH'S WITNESS FRIENDS
LIKE BRICK WALLS, LIKE DELTAS, LIKE PINE CONES
AND I DON'T BLAME THEM BUT ALSO I FEEL SACKED.

FRIENDLINESS IS FOR FUCKERS, GIVE IT UP. THE
WATER POLO TEAM WON. I WAS ONCE A WATER
MOLECULE TEAM. WINNER. I WANT TO EAT CHRISTMAS

LIGHTS LIKE SPAGHETTI. LET'S INVEST IN SOME
WATER PARKS, YOU KNOW, THE KIND WITH MORTAL
KOMBAT 4 IN THE COVERED TENT. CORN DOGS DRAG

THE MISSISSIPPI, I'D BET ANYTHING ON IT. RICHARD
DREYFUS PANTSUIT EGGNOG CUM PILLOW. FUCK.
DREGS 'LL BET ANYTHING ON THE DREYER DAGGER.

PAL, YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT YR CHIPS ON SUNDOWN
INSTEAD OF HICCUPS. YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

ah

2008-12-07T13:02:00.000-08:00

WE WALKED BACK AND FOURTH FROM CURB TO CURB FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES.

I WOULD WANDER AWAY FROM HER FOR A WHILE AND SHE WOULD CATCH UP.

OR SHE WOULD WANDER AWAY FROM ME FOR A WHILE AND I’D CATCH UP.

IT WAS LIKE WE WERE ALREADY NEW CLOSE LOVERS, ATTACHED AT THE HIP,

SUBCONSCIOUSLY SACRIFICING OUR EGOS FOR THE INFATUATION WITH THE OTHER BECAUSE IT SEEMED MORE IMPORTANT.

IT SEEMED LIKE A MYSTERY UNRAVELED

POOL 2

2008-11-10T00:32:00.001-08:00

HOLDING YOURSELF BACK
FOR THE SAKE OF THE PAYOFF
ITS SO FUCKING HARD.
LETS PLAY A CHILD'S GAME
TOGETHER.
GUESS WHO.
I FEEL LIKE I AM 13
YEARS OLD
SITTING IN MY PARENTS HOUSE
ONLINE IN THE
COMPUTER ROOM
HEARING THE DOOR OPEN
AND CLOSE ON AOL.
WAITING FOR SOME GIRL
AT SCHOOL TO SIGN ONLINE
SO I COULD WAIT 10 MINUTES TO
TALK TO HER BECAUSE
I DIDN'T WANT TO SEEM TO EAGER.
WHY IS BEING
EAGER THE WORST THING
IN THE WORLD.
I CAN STILL
HEAR THE DOOR
OPENING AND
CLOSING
WHILE I SLEEP.
LAST NIGHT I SLEPT WITH A
POOL STICK IN MY HAND
AWAITING DEATH
FROM THE LIGHT OUTSIDE.
I DIDN'T HAVE ANY CONTROL
OF WHO TURNED IT OFF
AND ON.
I FELL ASLEEP IN MY CLOTHES
CLUTCHING MY WEAPON
AS I STARED TOWARDS THE WINDOW.

2008-11-10T00:07:00.001-08:00

THERE ARE THINGS
THAT I WOULD LIKE TO
DO WITH YOU.
I WANT TO EXPLAIN MYSELF.
I WANT TO SEE YOU
SITTING IN YOUR ROOM
ONLINE.
WHAT CAN BE HAPPENING
THAT I CAN'T SEE.
WHERE IS THE
MYSTERY IN THESE SORTS OF THINGS.
THERE'S A POINT OF
VIEW AT A BAR THAT IS
THE SADDEST THAT
THERE CAN BE.
SWALLOW THE POOL CUE
AND PAY FOR MY BEER.

ALL OF THIS IS REALLY QUITE SILLY

2008-11-06T21:01:00.000-08:00

I STILL HURT
FROM LAST NIGHT
YOU ARE ABSURD
"WE BOTH HAVE GIRLFRIENDS"
YOU KEPT SAYING
BUT THIS HAPPENED
YOU HAVE TO STOP CALLING
ME
I THOUGHT
THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA
BECAUSE OF
THE NEEDED SPACE
SURE, IT WAS
BETTER
THAN ANYTHING ELSE
ANYONE ELSE
BUT STILL
I DONT LOVE YOU
I NEVER WILL
YOU CLIMB ROCKS
I WRITE POETRY
NEXT TIME
I WILL NOT SCREAM SO LOUD
I PROMISE

2008-11-03T00:33:00.000-08:00

Forgetting how to walk
and understanding how to drive
are two separate things you
must know how to do in order to
live but at
some point become
some of the hardest things
to accomplish.
Continuing to grow
is one of the most important
things you can do
with this time.
Preaching is the shittiest.
Here we go.

MAGNOLIA, I HAVE NEVER SEEN MAGNOLIA

2008-10-19T23:02:00.000-07:00

THERE IS SOMETHING KIND OF DEAD
ABOUT BEING SCARED OF CHAINS BUT
I AM AFRAID OF SECRET DJANGO REINHARDT
RECORDINGS THAT SAY "JESUS OF THE MOON,
FUCK THE 500 THREAD COUNT EARTH." I HAVE
SEEN THE KENDRA GRANT MALONES OF
MEDFORD OREGON AND ASHLAND OREGON AND
THEY ARE ALL KIND OF RED HEADEDISH AND
I WONDER IF THEY ARE AS PATIENT AS DAVID
BERMAN'S WIFE. RUNNING STOP LIGHTS IN
OLD TOWN DOWN BY THE TRAIN DEPOT WHERE
NO TRAIN HAS GONE IN 6 MONTHS AT LEAST
BUT MAYBE YOU COULD GET SOME 107.5 DJS TO
SUCK IT OFF WITH YOU OR GIVE YOU
SOME BLOW IN A CORNER. I REMEMBER WHEN
OUR TEACHER BROUGHT CHAINS AND A TIRE
TO SCHOOL TO TEACH THE GIRLS HOW TO PUT
CHAINS ON BUT HE PROBABLY JUST WANTED
THEM TO BEND OVER SO HE COULD SEE THEIR
THONGS. I WANT ONE OF THOSE OLD PRINTERS
WHERE THE PAPER HAD HOLES IN THE SIDE, AND
THERE WERE AT LEAST TWO COPIES: ONE YELLOW
AND ONE WHITE-- WHERE YOU COULD ESCAPE INTO
A RIBBON OF BLACK INK AND THINK ABOUT THE
NEXT SPIDERMAN MOVIE AND THEN MAYBE THINK
ABOUT THE WAY PEOPLE ACTED ON SURVIVOR
AND THEN THINK ABOUT THE SUN FILIBUSTERING
HOMECOMING DANCES AND THEN THINK ABOUT
DAZZLING PARIAHS WEARING BITCH SKINS.

DRUNK SONNET 17

2008-10-18T23:30:00.000-07:00

I AM NOT STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU, NO
I AM NOT STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU AT ALL
I AM NOT STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU
STILL, I AM NOT AT ALL THINKING ABOUT YOU

NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU, NO I'M NOT
WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT? NOT YOU
IF I AM THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING, IT'S NOT YOU
YOU ARE NOT A THING I'M THINKING ABOUT

WHAT SHOULD I THINK ABOUT? NOT YOU
WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY THINK ABOUT?
WHAT IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT BUT YOU?

THERE'S PLENTY TO THINK ABOUT IN THIS WORLD
WHAT IN MY LIFE AM I THINKING ABOUT?
I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU, THANK GOD

DRUNK SONNET 16

2008-10-18T23:22:00.000-07:00

TOMORROW I COULD BE A PLANT
AND YOU COULD BE A PLANT
AND WE COULD BE NEIGHBORS
IN A FOREST IN SCOTLAND

AND THE SKY COULD RAIN ON US
AND THE WORMS COULD MAKE GOOD DIRT
AND THE DIRT COULD SUSTAIN US
AND OUR LOVE WOULD SMELL LIKE THE EARTH

BUT WE ARE NOT PLANTS
WE ARE NOT WORMS
WE ARE NOT DIRT

WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS
AND WE ARE ARE MISSING THE POINT
AND I'M A LITTLE DRUNK AND YOU'RE A LITTLE DRUNK

DRUNK SONNET 15

2008-10-18T23:12:00.000-07:00

NO ONE CAN BE COMPLETE WITHOUT THAT THING
THAT COMPLETES THEM AND MAKES THEM ALIVE
AND IF THAT THING IS NOT LOVE THEY ARE NOT ALIVE
AND I THINK I AM ALIVE BUT THAT LOVE IS ASTRAY

WE STAND PUNCHING WALLS AND THROWING TRASH
ACROSS THE FLOOR LIKE DUST AND IT SOAKS IN
AND WHEN WE CLEAN IT UP WE CAN ONLY THINK
WHERE HAS IT GONE FOR IT TO BE LIKE THIS

AND IF I AM NOT ALIVE LET ME BE FABRIC SOFTENER
OR A LIGHT BULB OR AN OVEN OR SOMETHING OF USE
AND LET ME BE A PART OF SOMEONE'S LIFE

IN WAY THAT MAKES LIFE EASIER AND BETTER
SOMETHING THAT CAN NEVER BE HARMED OR NOTHING
AND THAT NO ONE CAN EVER STOP CARING ABOUT OR NEEDING

DRUNK SONNET 14

2008-10-16T00:05:00.000-07:00

IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON EVER THEN HEY
I AM HERE IT WOULD BE NICE TO TALK SOMETIME
INFOMERCIALS HAVE STARTED AND I KIND OF WANT TO DIE
I'M PRETTY SURE THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY FOR A MORGUE

OK SO ACTUALLY ITS FOR THE BIBLE OR SOMETHING
SO ITS A COMMERCIAL FOR TRYING TO BE HAPPY OR SOMETHING
BUT I AM NOT HAPPY TONIGHT NO I AM NOT JUST HERE
IF HAPPINESS EVER WORKED THEN HOW - I DON'T KNOW

HAPPINESS IS A LIZARD IN THE SUNLIGHT GETTING WARM
AND THEN IN THE NIGHT BENEATH A ROCK EATING FLIES
AND THE FLIES TASTE LIKE COLD HOT PUS

AH, SO TONIGHT IS A LITTLE DRUNK AND OK OK OK
THAT IS GOOD SO LET ME BE - THERE IS NO LOVE TONIGHT
GOD IS LIKE BONO - SOME DICKWAD NO ONE WILL EVER MEET OR LIKE

DRUNK SONNET 13

2008-10-15T23:07:00.000-07:00

THE ONLY THING THAT COULD MAYBE SAVE US NOW
IS GETTING OLD TOGETHER AND DYING AND THEN NOTHING
I THINK THAT THIS IS THE TIME FOR US
I HAVE WALKED THROUGH OUR CITY AT NIGHT

IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE CHANGING ANYTHING NOW
BUT WHEN I FALL IN LOVE IN THE FUTURE
WILL I EVEN THINK OF YOU OR WHAT? I DON'T KNOW
WILL YOU EVEN BE A PART OF THAT?

HERE ARE SOME THINGS I'VE SEEN TONIGHT
THAT MAKE ME THINK OF YOU OK:
CAT LITTER, THAT WAS THE FIRST

YOUR PICTURE ON THE INTERNET
WHAT ELSE, I DON'T KNOW, SHOULD I QUIT MYSPACE?
SHOULD CATS EVER PISS AGAIN?

DRUNK SONNET 12

2008-10-15T22:53:00.000-07:00

SERIOUSLY, IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON NOW THAT IT'S OVER
AND I CAN PROBABLY JUST HANG THE GARBAGE OUT THE WINDOW
AND LET THE STREET SMELL IT AND WE CAN STILL SMELL IT HERE
I WANT TO GET RID OF EVERYTHING ON THE FLOOR AND IN THE AIR

IN THE BREATH OF THE EVENING I PROBABLY FELT YOU
THAT'S ALL I CAN EVEN SAY TO DESCRIBE IT
I CAN'T - AND SOMEWHERE ELSE I AM SOMEONE ELSE
AND YOU ARE THE SAME WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE

THAT THERE EXISTS A PLACE FOR YOU AND ME AND ANYONE
DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING ANYMORE BECAUSE OTHER PLACES YES
I THINK THERE ARE OTHER PLACES TO MOVE ON FROM THIS

I'M JUST AN ASSHOLE WITH FLOWERS HANGING OUT OF IT
BUT EVERYONE STILLS MY FLOWERS AS TURDS I THINK
MAMDMDMAMAMAMDMDMAMAMDMDMADMMAMDMADMDMDMDMDMAMAMAMAD

DRUNK SONNET 11

2008-10-10T21:52:00.000-07:00

MY DRUNK IS GOING AWAY AND IT'S A LITTLE HOT
LIKE I AM IN A DESERT AND LICKING THE SAND
BENEATH THE SAND TO STAY COOL THOUGH IT'S WRONG
AND THIS WILL JUST MAKE THINGS WORSE

I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW WITH MY MOUTH FULL OF SAND
IF YOU WANT TO TALK LEAVE A MESSAGE AND I WILL RESPOND
AT A BETTER TIME I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND
BUT I UNDERSTAND IF YOU NEVER DO

AND IF I NEVER DO
AND IF WHAT WAS GOOD WAS NOT REALLY GOOD
BUT WE WERE TRYING TOO HARD TO BE GOOD

SOMETIMES I CAN FEEL A CAMEL LICKING MY BACK
AND WHEN I TURN AROUND I AM SUDDENLY SLEEPING
AND THIS POEM MAKES NO SENSE WHAT THE FUCK

DRUNK SONNET 10

2008-10-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

THE AIRPORT IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
THE GROCERY STORE IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
PETSMART IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
THE THAI PLACE IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST

MY OWN BED IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
INSIDE MY CAR IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
ALL THESE STREETS, THIS CITY, THIS STATE
THIS COUNTRY IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST

IN FRONT OF THIS TV IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
IN THIS BODY IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
IN THIS AIR IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST

I'M THINKING ABOUT EVOLUTION AND THE WAY WE CHANGE
AND HOW LONG IT WILL BE BEFORE I HAVE A TAIL AGAIN
AND I CAN FORGET ALL THAT'S HAPPENED

DRUNK SONNET 9

2008-10-10T20:07:00.000-07:00

I'M GLAD THAT YOU'RE SILL ALIVE AND DOING WELL
I'D HATE TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE YOU DON'T EXIST
I CAN SAY THAT HONESTLY, AND I'M GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO LIE
IF YOU KNOW ME, AND I THINK YOU DO, YOU KNOW I'M NOT A LIAR

EXCEPT FOR WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG IN LIFE
AND I HAVE TO BACK AWAY FOR A LITTLE WHILE
INTO ANOTHER CORNER OF LIFE WHERE I'LL SAY ANYTHING
TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE ME RIGHT NOW

I'M SORRY THAT THINGS DON'T ALWAYS WORK OUT
AND THAT I CAN'T BE THERE TO SEE YOU DOING WELL
BUT IT HURTS TOO MUCH TO SEE YOU DOING WELL

OR TO IMAGINE YOU DOING WELL AT A TIME LIKE THIS
I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY NOW
AND THAT'S OK, I THINK, AT LEAST I HAVE PURPOSE

NEVER

2008-10-10T01:39:00.001-07:00

THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION ON
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MOON
WHICH DRAINED ALL THE LIFE
OUT OF HER PRETTY FACE.
SHE COUGHED, CRINGED, COUNTED
THE DAYS THAT EXPANDED HER
PATIENCE AMONGST THE OTHERS.
SHE LAID LIFELESS AND
AWAITED WHEN SHE WOULD
BE ABLE TO FEEL AGAIN.
ANYTHING.
THERE WAS ONLY ONE WINDOW
IN THE ASYLUM.
ONLY ONE SHADE.
IT NEVER BLEW THE RIGHT WAY
SHE WANTED.
IT ALWAYS BLOCKED WHAT
SHE THOUGHT WAS IMPORTANT.

MIDLAKE

2008-10-10T01:35:00.000-07:00

IM RIDING THROUGH THE BUILDINGS
WHILE THINKING ABOUT BENDING YOU
OVER THE SIDE OF MY BED.
GLIMMERS OF THE SUN SHINE INTO
MY FACE SO I PUT ON MY SUNGLASSES
AND TRY TO CONCENTRATE ON
THE CARS PASSING ON MY LEFT HAND
SIDE AND THE POTHOLES IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE STREET BUT
ALL I SEE IS YOUR FIERY HAIR
AND THE SCRATCHES I'VE LEFT BEHIND.
YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T CARE
WHAT WAS GOING ON.
YOU JUST WANTED TO FEEL
SOMETHING THAT MADE YOU
FEEL GOOD.
I SAID I WANTED THE SAME THING.

DRUNK SONNET 8

2008-10-09T23:53:00.000-07:00

I WANT TO LOVE BUT PLEASE LET ME KNOW
HOW IS THAT I CAN YOU CAN EVEN EXIST NOW
I JUST FELT THE ALCOHOL IN MY FEET
MY HEART HAS A LOT INSIDE IT I THINK, EVEN STILL

IF EVERYONE IS OK THEN WHY I AM I NOT
IT'S OK TO CRY A LITTLE, I THINK, JUST CRY
I THINK I WANT TO EAT YOUR SMILE TONIGHT
I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING IN IT TO KEEP ME ALIVE

I'M LOOKING AT THIS SLEEPING CAT RIGHT NOW
AND HE JUST SHIFTED A LITTLE AND IT WAS NICE
AND THE OCEAN'S FLOOR IS SO FAR AWAY

SINKING TOGETHER WOULD BE A COMMITMENT
AND RISING TOGETHER AN EVEN BIGGER ONE
BUT I THINK THAT ALL THAT WATER IS TOO MUCH

DRUNK SONNET 7

2008-10-09T23:43:00.000-07:00

EVERYTHING AROUND ME IS SHAKING A LITTLE
LIFE IS HORRIBLE AND A GREAT THING TO DEAL WITH
RIGHT NOW I'M TRYING TO GO ON AND IT'S WORKING
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS KEEP BREATHING AND KEEP BEATING

GOD, THIS IS AMAZING, THIS CHAIR, THIS AIR, THESE HANDS
MY BODY FEELS LIKE A SHIT GETTING SUCKED DOWN THE DRAIN
MY BROTHER IS AWESOME AND LETS ME STAY HERE AND YOU ARE NOT HERE
EVERYONE TRIES SO HARD AT EVERYTHING THAT IT'S LIKE HELL YES

I AM TRYING FOR YOU - DO YOU REALIZE THAT?
EVERTYHING IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT SINCE THE SWAMPS FORMED
IT SMELLED A LITTLE LIKE GRASS FERMENTED AND DEAD

I TRY SO HARD RIGHT NOW THAT IT'S LIKE A PENIS CHOPPED OFF
TO GROW ANOTHER BODY WOULD A GOOD IDEA
I WANT JUST WANT A NEW EVERYTHING WITH IT

DRUNK SONNET 6

2008-10-09T23:32:00.000-07:00

MY BODY WANTS SOMETHING MORE THAN IT GETS
MY STOMACH SAYS HUNGRY PIZZA JAMBALAYA SANDWICH
MY HEART WANTS BLOOD TO FEED ITS ACHING WORTHLESS
MY RIB JUST WANTS TO SIT THERE AND PROTECT

WHAT ABOUT THE LIVER, THAT SHITTY BUTTWAD
THE LIVER WANTS A NEW LIFE INSIDE A CHRISTIAN WOMAN
BODY, COME ON, I CANNOT COMPLETE THIS INSPECTION
I AM GOING DOWN - YOU TOO - WE ARE KAMIKAZI'D, BIG TIME

I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT, BUT I AM HUNGRY
THE CARPET WANTS FEET, I AM HONEST AND DEAD
GOD IS A HORRIBLE DISEASE THAT I INHERITED

IF I COULD LIVE INSIDE YOU AND YOU INSIDE ME
THEN THAT WOULD BE IDEAL - DISTANCE IS NOT NECESSARY
MY CAR JUST EXPLODED AND NO SHIT EVER EVER HAPPENED

DRUNK SONNET 5

2008-10-09T23:22:00.000-07:00

WHERE IS MY LIFE, I THINK A DONE THING
THAT I WANT TO CONTINUE FOREVER AND REMEMBER
COMPLETELY DRUNKFUL AND BEAUTIFUL TO BOOT, AS THEY SAY
WHAT HAPPENS NOW IS WE CONTINUE SEPARATELY AND THAT'S THAT

IT'S LIKE YOU ARE THERE AND I AM HERE
AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE THERE IS BUT HERE IS IRRELEVANT
THE CAPITAL BUILDING IS CRUSHING ME FROM ACROSS THE CITY
AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE WORLD I LIVE IN - IT'S GONE

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE WANT LIFE TO MEAN SOMETHING
I WISH I WERE THE MOSS ON THE TREE STUMP IN ANOTHER STATE
AND WE NEVER ENDED UP SEEING EACH OTHER

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WHAT I DRINK EVERY NIGHT CAN MAKE ME FEEL
ANY DIFFERENT, AND I THINK WE'LL BE GONE FOREVER RIGHT NOW
I AM GONE AND YOU ARE GONE AND THAT IS IT

DRUNK SONNET 4

2008-10-09T21:29:00.000-07:00

COME ON, YOU PEOPLE, EVERYTHING IS OK
THE CHILDREN ARE ASLEEP AND THE DOGS ARE ASLEEP
AND MY STOMACH AND HEAD ARE CONNECTED IN THIS WAY
THAT I CAN HEAR THOUGHTS LIKE PIZZA CHOKING BEER

OBVIOUSLY, THE ROOM IS SHAKING A LITTLE
TELL ME IT'S NOT, YOU ARE A LIAR IT SHAKES, BIG TIME
I AM CONTENT AND THAT IS GOOD, BUT LONELY
I REMEMBER HOW THE BODY TASTES AND HOW HARDLY GONE IT IS

TOMORROW I WILL WAKE UP AND GO TO WORK FOR A TRAINING
I WILL LISTEN AND I WILL NOD MY HEAD AND THAT'S THAT
I'LL LEAVE WORK AND LEAVE WORK AND LEAVE WORK

AND I'LL LEAVE WORK AND EAT SOME CHEAP FOOD AND I KNOW
THAT MY HOURS WILL CONTRIBUTE TO MY MONETARY WORTH AND I WISH
I COULD BUY YOU SOMETHING FOR YOUR TIME BUT IT'S GONE

DRUNK SONNET 3

2008-10-09T00:34:00.000-07:00

PRACTICALLY, I AM MAKING IT THROUGH LIFE
LIKE THE GROUND KEEPS PAYING ME TO WALK ON IT
WITH THE HUMILIATION OF KNOWING IT'S STRENGTH
AGAINST MY WEIGHT AND I CANNOT WIN OR BREAK THE SURFACE

SOMETIMES IN LIFE SOMEONE SAYS HELLO
AND YOU ARE ALL, I DON'T KNOW, PLEASE
AND, I NEED YOU, COME HERE, WHERE ARE YOU
AND, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL...

THERE'S THIS A/C UNIT AND IT'S COVERED WITH BOTTLES
AND I AM TRYING TO MAKE SENSE AT ALL, YOU KNOW
AND TRAINS KEEP WHISTLING IN THE DISTANCE

BUT WHAT HAPPENS IS I KEEP LOOKING AWAY
AND LOOKING AWAY IS ANOTHER THING
AND ANOTHER THING IS MAYBE BETTER RIGHT NOW

DRUNK SONNET 2

2008-10-09T00:27:00.000-07:00

BODIES FLOAT WITHOUT BALLAST
AND I GUESS THAT'S WHY I'M HERE
AND I GUESS THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE
AND WHY, HARDLY, I STILL LOVE YOU

WE FORGOT THE ROCKS AND
WE FORGOT THE CEMENT AND
THE HEAVY SHIT IS SOMEWHERE ELSE
BUT I WANT TO BREATHE UNDERWATER

LIKE BUBBLES I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR DEAD FACE
WITH MY DEAD FACE TO LICK YOU WITH AIR
THE WEEKENDS ARE GONE AND SO ARE THE NIGHTS

I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER THE TIMES THAT I LOVED YOU
BUT I DO AND I WANT TO REMEMBER THEM LIKE I DRANK TOO MUCH
AND WHAT EVEN HAPPENED I DON'T EVEN KNOW

DRUNK SONNET 1

2008-10-09T00:18:00.000-07:00

I'M A LITTLE HUNGRY BUT DRUNK
I WANT FORGIVENESS IN A BEEHIVE
LIKE A DOG WITH THE BENDS IN THE ARCTIC
AND COVERED IN ICE FURS

MY FIRST PRAYER TO GOD WENT
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M DOING THIS RIGHT
MY LAST PRAYER TO GOD WENT
I KNOW FOR A FACT I'M NOT DOING THIS RIGHT

I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT AND AT DAY I DONT' WANT AWAKE
AND A BODY THAT RUSTS INTO HARD AND AND UNBELIEVABLE
I WILL BE NOT ALIVE FOREVER EXCEPT FOR THE DRY BED

MY HANDS ARE TOO SMALL TO CARRY WHATEVER THIS IS
ACTUALLY, A HABIT OF DOLPHINS THAT LIVE IN CAPTIVITY
TO EAT FISH OUT OF BUCKETS AND SLEEP IN THE SALT AND THE WATER

2008-09-27T02:09:00.001-07:00

I CAN'T CONTROL ANYTHING IN MY LIFE.
THERE IS NO POINT TO TRY TO 'CONTROL ANYTHING'.
IT REALLY IS POINTLESS.
JOBS COME AND GO.
PEOPLE COME AND GO.
I FEEL LIKE IM GRASPING THINGS UNTIL THEY SLIP THROUGH MY HANDS.
THERE IS NOTHING TANGIBLE.
THERE IS NOTHING THAT GROWS.
THIS IS NOTHING.
YOU ARE NOTHING
I AM NOTHING.
WE ARE BORN INTO ABSOLUTE INSANITY.

OAKLAND TRAIL

2008-09-25T01:46:00.000-07:00

I STARED AT YOU FOR TWO MINUTES
WHILE WE LISTENED TO MY NEIGHBORS HAVE SEX
AND MY ROOMMATE COOK VEGETABLES
WITH FAKE SAUSAGE MEAT.
IS IT STRANGE THAT I AM THINKING
OF SOMETHING THAT WILL 'MAKE
ME HAPPIER' AS I TALK TO YOU?
...16 FLOOR REFLECTIONS
LITE UP. EXPLODING IN
THE ORANGE LIGHTS.
IF YOU STICK YOUR ARM
IN BETWEEN THE DOORS
THEY WILL STOP
CLOSING AND OPEN.
THERE IS A SENSOR THAT
REALIZES WHAT YOU ARE
DOING.
THERE IS A MOMENT IN
BETWEEN YOURSELF
THAT WILL STOP
BECAUSE IT REALIZES
WHAT YOU ARE
DOING.
!!
.....

THIS POEM WILL STAND AGAINST THE WALL AND WATCH THE REST OF THE POEMS AS THEY INTERACT

2008-09-20T00:51:00.000-07:00

I REMEMBER THE SWAN CASKET AGAINST THE WALL
THAT'S ALL
ACTUALLY I REMEMBER MORE
BUT FUCK THAT SHIT

THE REST I REMEMBER BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER
WE HAD SOME BEERS AND IT WAS STRANGE

I KIND OF WANT TO GO HOME
I MEAN I AM HOME BUT I COULD STILL BE CGI'D
INTO THAT MOVIE WHERE THE DIRECTOR SAID
"EVERYONE JUST MAKE SAD FACES THE WHOLE TIME"
(OR I COULD DRIVE 4.5 HOURS)

THE MOVIE IS CALLED ANGUS
AND IT SUCKS
THAT IS THE MOVIE I'M TALKING ABOUT
I WAS TRYING TO WRITE A POEM BUT NOW I AM JUST TYPING

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY NOW
I WILL SAY WHAT IS AROUND ME

THE TV IS ON
IT HAS BEEN ON SINCE I GOT HERE
IT WAS JUST ON
I HAVEN'T CHANGED THE CHANNEL
BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON IS ON
IT HAS BRITISH PEOPLE
GREY CAT NORMAN IS SLEEPING NEXT TO ME
I JUST PETTED HIM AND HE CHIRPED
THEN HE STARTED RUBBING HIS FACE WITH HIS PAWS
THE LIGHTS ARE ON
I NEED TO GO TO SLEEP SOON

I WISH I COULD BE A BRITISH PERSON WITH A LOT OF FREE TIME
OR ANYONE WITH A LOT OF FREE TIME
I THINK PEOPLE WITH A LOT OF FREE TIME
ARE MAYBE FORGETTING TO DO SOMETHING

I HAVE TRIED READING STUFF BY WRITERS I LIKE LATELY
I READ THE FIRST HALF OF MICHAEL KIMBALL'S DEAR EVERYBODY
IT'S VERY GOOD
I LOOK FORWARD TO THE SECOND HALF
SO I READ HALF 1
THEN I HAD TO SLEEP AND WORK AND YOU KNOW
IT'S HARD TO FIND TIME TO READ ANYMORE
I DON'T EVEN WRITE ANYMORE

THIS IS NOT WRITING BY THE WAY
I AM GOING TO DRINK WATER NOW

OK
I DRANK WATER
NOW I JUST WANT TO PET NORMAN
I FEEL LIKE THAT WOULD BE BETTER
THAN THINKING ABOUT LIFE OR WHATEVER OR TYPING
WORDS THAT I AM TYPING
PETTING NORMAN
HE'S A GOOD GOOD DUDE

THIS MOVIE JUST TURNED REALLY LAME
LAMER THAN BEFORE
THE DIRECTOR DOESN'T KNOW
HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE SEEM SAD
WITHOUT BEING A FUCKING RIDICULOUS ASSHOLE
AND PLAYING SHITTY MUSIC AND MAKING PEOPLE LOOK
LIKE THEY WALKED IN THE RAIN OR SOME SHIT
IF YOU WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE LOOK SAD
SHOW THEM TRYING NOT TO CRY TRYING TO EXPLAIN
HOW THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW FEELING SORRY
FOR SOMETHING DOES NOT MEAN THAT
ALL CONSEQUENCES SHOULD DISAPPEAR
AND THEY ARE 14 AND LOCKED UP
AND THEY DON'T HAVE ANY SELF-AWARENESS
AND THEY THINK THEY WILL BE LOCKED UP
A MONTH MORE BECAUSE OF ONE MOMENT
AND YOU WOULD ALMOST DO ANYTHING

ALSO, I DIDN'T MAKE UP THE SWAN CASKET
IT WAS REALLY THERE
I SAW IT
I THOUGHT, "WHY DO THEY HAVE A SWAN CASKET"
IT WAS JUST SOME THING AGAINST THE WALL
AND IT WAS STUFFED WITH TRASH AND DEAD LEAVES

NOW I AM GOING TO PISS AND THEN BRUSH MY TEETH

SINGLE PEOPLE ARE WEIRD

2008-09-18T19:32:00.001-07:00

SINGLE PEOPLE ARE WEIRD.
THERE IS A REASON SINGLE PEOPLE ARE SINGLE.
SINGLE PEOPLE SMELL STRANGELY.
SINGLE PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE THE THINGS YOU LIKE.
SINGLE PEOPLE ARE POSSIBLY HOMOPHOBIC.
SINGLE PEOPLE ONCE KILLED A KITTEN BY PUTTING IT IN A BIN BAG AND KICKING IT AROUND IN A PARK.
SINGLE PEOPLE ARE OUT TO 'TRAP YOU'.
SINGLE PEOPLE HAVE 'EXCESS BAGGAGE'.
SINGLE PEOPLE STAY INDOORS ALL DAY, WANKING.
SINGLE PEOPLE SOMEHOW DON'T HAVE THE INNATE ABILITY THAT YOU HAVE TO 'LEAPFROG' FROM ONE RELATIONSHIP TO ANOTHER.
HOW WEIRD THEY ARE.
SINGLE PEOPLE USUALLY HAVE PIECES OF TOILET PAPER STUCK TO THEIR PENISES OR VAGINAS, DUE TO EXCESSIVE WANKING OR JUST GENERAL 'BAD HABITS'.
SINGLE PEOPLE LISTEN TO THINGS LIKE GUIDED BY VOICES AND THE SHINS TO DROWN OUT THE SOUND OF THEIR OTHER SINGLE FRIENDS WANKING DOWN THE TELEPHONE AT THEM.
ONCE, ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON, ALL THE SINGLE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD DROWNED A VERY GOOD-LOOKING KITTEN DUE TO WANKING ALL OVER IT.
IF THE SINGLE PEOPLE HAD BOYFRIENDS OR GIRLFRIENDS, MAYBE THEY WOULD HAVE JUST STAYED IN AND WATCHED TV OR HAD A WALK, HOLDING HANDS, INSTEAD OF DROWNING A KITTEN DUE TO BEING SO PAINFULLY SINGLE AND WEIRD.

2008-08-31T02:03:00.000-07:00

MY ROOMMATE TOLD ME THAT
SAN FRANCISCO
WAS NUMBER 3 IN THE
AMOUNT OF TOTAL
ALCOHOL
CONSUMED IN
THE U.S.

MISTER LITTLE I HAD A CRUSH ON YOU IN HIGHSCHOOL

2008-08-30T17:00:00.000-07:00

LETS GO TO MY HOUSE
AND DRINK PLUM WINE
I SAID
SURE YOU SAID
WE RODE IN THE CAB
WHERE I LEFT MY PHONE
LETS SIT ON THE BALCONY
I SAID
SURE YOU SAID
LET ME GET MY TOBACCO
YOU SAID
WE TALK ABOUT POLITICS
UNTIL WE WERE SCREAMING
YEAH, WE GOT A LITTLE
TOO DRUNK
YOU'RE MOVING TO BERLIN
AGAIN YOU SAID
FINE THAT SOUNDS LOVELY
I SAID
WE STUMBLED TO MY ROOM
YOU LAID ON TOP OF ME
YOU KISSED ME
YOU CAN BE SO ROMANTIC
YOU SAID
I JUST BLUSHED
OH NOT REALLY
I SAID
MR. LITTLE
YOU WERE A BETTER FUCK
THAN I THOUGHT

ACTORS NEVER THINK ABOUT DYING

2008-08-30T04:22:00.000-07:00

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE PHILOSOPHY BEHIND THE SHOW "LOST?"
IF YOU DO, THEN PLEASE EXPLICATE IT ONTO A CHALKBOARD.
WHEN YOU AND I SOMETIMES GET TOGETHER, SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS.
OR I WISH. I WISH WE HAD THE BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO US. IN A CAR
IN FRONT OF A TRAIN. IT WOULD BE SO IMPULSIVE AND PEOPLE WOULD
SAY, "THAT'S A FOX NEWS EXCLUSIVE. THOSE TWO ARE EXLUSIVES."
NO, WE DIDN'T KILL BABIES, NO, WE DIDN'T HURRICANE. WE CALLED.
MAYBE IT WAS A MIGRAINE THAT YOU HAD. I SAID "I DON'T BELIEVE IN
MIGRAINES, SERIOUSLY." AND I DON'T. BUT THEN YOU STARTED HITTING
YOUR WASHER/DRYER COMBO SAYING "DRACULA." THIS IS WHAT I IMAGINE
HAPPENED TO JOHN F. KENNEDY RIGHT BEFORE HE MET FRANK SINATRA.

THE LAKE IS MADE OF GLASS, I'M SURE OF IT

2008-08-13T22:24:00.000-07:00

THE LAKE IS
GLASSY TONIGHT
TOMORROW AT DAWN
I GO BACK TO NEW YORK
IT'S HARD
TO LEAVE
TONIGHT I MET THREE
WOMEN FOR DRINKS
WE LIVED TOGETHER FOR
THREE YEARS
IN A HOUSE
NO ONE LIVES TOGETHER NOW
WE SAT
AND DISCUSSED
GOSSIP
AND THE CURRENT COURSES
OF OUR LIVES
IT WAS THE FIRST TIME
IN MONTHS
I'VE BEEN ABLE TO
TELL SOMEONE
OPENLY ABOUT MY JOB
AND MY LOVE
WITHOUT THE FEAR
OR REJECTION
THEY SAID "GROSS"
AND "I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU"
AND THEY WERE GENUINE
I FELT ADORED
THEY ALL CAME TOGETHER
BECAUSE I WAS THERE
AND WE SHARED THINGS
WE PLAYED THE SMASHING PUMPKINS
EVERYTHING WAS NICE
THE LAKE IS GLASSY TONIGHT
I KNOW WHY I AM GOING BACK
IT'S TOTAL BULLSHIT
BUT THATS FINE
TONIGHT
I HAVE A FANTASY
OF GETTING BEATEN
HORRIBLY
AND SURVIVING IT
AND STILL BEING BEAUTIFUL
THE LAKE IS SO GLASSY

I TRIED TO LEAVE A MYSPACE MESSAGE FOR RODNEY CARRINGTON

2008-08-10T02:01:00.000-07:00

I DELETED THIS POEM BECAUSE IT SUCKED
NOW IT STILL SUCKS
BUT AT LEAST IT'S NOT EMBARASSING

NAKED WITH TRISH

2008-08-09T23:34:00.000-07:00

TONIGHT I DRANK ABSINTHE
WITH MY SISTER
AND HER LOVER
THE BOTTLE HAD BEEN
SITTING
FOR 10 YEARS IN MY FATHERS
PANTRY
WE SAT IN THE HOT TUB
AND THEN WE
CANNON BALLED INTO THE LAKE
THIS IS WHAT WE DO
IN MINNESOTA
THEY KISSED AND DID
THINGS
WHILE I FLOATED AND LOOKED
AT THE SKY
I SAW THE BIG DIPPER
AND THE MILKY WAY
I ONCE DATED A
BOY WHO SHOWED ME HOW
TO RECOGNIZE STARS
BUT THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO
THEY KISSED AND STUFF
WE ALL GOT NAKED
AND SWAM UNDER
THE STARS
I FLOATED
AND PRETENDED
TRISH WAS WITH ME
INSTEAD OF IN VEGAS
I PRETENDED
WE HELD HANDS
NAKED ON OUR BACKS
UNDER THE STARS AND
THE MILKY WAY
TOGETHER
BECAUSE IT FELT BETTER THAN
BEING ALONE
AND ALSO
IT FEELS GOOD
TO BE NAKED
WITH TRISH

ERROR

2008-08-06T18:44:00.000-07:00

POEM DELETED BY AUTHOR
DUE TO WAKING UP HUNGOVER
AND FEELING EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT

FUCK YOU FUCKING DRUNK FUCK

2008-08-05T00:08:00.000-07:00

THE RUBBER BALL ON THE
SEAT GAVE ME MORE THAN
THE OTHERS IN THE CAR.
SIMPLE MELODIES AND FOUR DOLLAR WATERS.
MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC.
SEX SEX SEX.
A GARAGE ROCK BAND ON ACOUSTIC NIGHT.
A CAMOUFLAGE JACKET IN FRONT OF CITY HALL.
A HIGH SCHOOL ACTOR GONE 'WRONG/RIGHT'.
FUCKED UP SHAKY EYELIDS IRRITATED BY CHALK.
RED CHALK.
REACH IN YOUR POCKET FOR A TRANSFER AND
PULL OUT NOTHING BUT A GLASS OF LAUGHS.

I passed out in my clothes

2008-08-02T01:35:00.000-07:00

FUCKING HAZY BUS DRIVERS
PULLING OVER TO PICK UP
AN ARGUMENT OVER WHO GOT
ON FIRST AND WHO
DESERVES MORE RESPECT.
THE ASIAN BOY RUBS THE
SALIVA OFF HIS FACE AND GETS OFF
A STOP LATER EVEN THOUGH HE HAS 4 MORE
TO GO.

I DONT' GIVE NO FUCKS

2008-08-02T01:31:00.000-07:00

WE KNOW THE WORLD
AND IT IS EXACTLY THE THING
YOU USE TO LICK YOUR ASS

AND I KNOW

AND WE KNOW

AND IF JAVELINS KNOW WHAT THEY WILL PIERCE
THEN HEY!
I AM THERE

BOB DYLAN IS OVERRATED
HOSPITALS ARE OVERRATED
AND BOB DYLAN IS BLEEDING
AND LET HIM

BECAUSE BOB DYLAN IS NOT OURS'
AND NEVER WILL BE

YES

WE
UH
WE NEED TO LEAVE THIS PLACE
I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS

THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE
THAT WE CAN BE PUT INTO THIS CATEGORY
THAT MAKES US EXACTLY SOMETHING
THAT PEOPLE WANT OR WANT OR NEED OR UH........

MY CHEST FEELS LIKE A HOSPITAL
BURNED TO THE SUN WITH GREY CAT
AND I AM WAITING
AND ALONE
AND BIRDS OF PREY ARE CONSTANT
THERE
YES
IT IS
AND CONSTANT ONWARD

ALL I WANT IS TO BE A FRIEND AND A FRIEND OF FRIENDS
AND THERE ARE PEOPLE I KNOW THAT ARE AMAZING
AND THERE IS SOMEONE I KNOW AND LOVE

AND CONSTANTLY
I BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING WILL RUIN ITSELF

I WANT THAT WE SHOULD WALK
INTO A PAINTING BY BOB VILLA (OR SOME OTHER BOB)
THAT LOOKS LIKE (THE WAY WE LOOKED
WHEN WE TOOK THE BUS TO THE CENTER OF TOWN
AND YOU SAID YOU WERE AFRAID
AND I SAID WHY
AND YOU SAID YOU THOUGHT GANGS WERE HERE
AND IT WAS VIOLENT OR SOMETHING
AND I SAID THAT WAS SOMETHING PEOPLE SAID WHEN THEY WERE AFRAID
AND WHEN WE GOT OUT OF THE BUS YOU LOOKED AT A BUILDING OR THE SKY
AND THE SUN WAS THERE NEXT TO IT
BUT IT WAS LIKE IT WAS SEPARATE
AND YOU REALIZED HOW IT WAS DIFFERENT AT NIGHT
AND THAT THE POST OFFICE WAS HALF YOU
OR THE RIVER WAS A VESTIGE OF GREY CAT
AND AH HA HA
COME ON
AND WE DRANK FORTIFIED WINE
AND WE TRIED TO WALK
BUT IT WAS NOT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
AND IT WAS NEVER THERE
BUT I KNOW THIS IS OK THIS IS ALL OR IT'S NOT ALL
I WANT TO RUN INTO THE STREET AND SLEEP BENEATH A CAR
AND CRAWL OUT IN THE MORNING AND RIP MUSHROOMS OUT OF THE GRASS
AND FEED THEM TO YOU AND TELL YOU THAT EVERYTHING IS AND)
I DON'T KNOW
THE SINK RISING UP AND SWALLOWING
MY BODY AND REPLACING ME WITH DUST OR SHIT
OR TWIST TIES OR ROCKS OR SOMETHING

AND I AM STANDING IN A CIRCLE
AND THE CIRLE IS SPIDERS
AND THE SPIDERS ARE GOOD

AND THERE IS ALWAYS FORTIFIED WINE

THIS POEM IS ABOUT A RAT

2008-07-30T22:25:00.000-07:00

I WAS A RAT AND I SAID FUCK HUMANITY
I SAT IN A PLASTIC CELL AND BURIED MY NOSE
IN SHREDDED NEWSPAPER AND LIFE WAS SHORT
MUCH SHORTER THAN THAN YOURS

I CANNOT LOOK AT MY FACE ANYMORE
WITHOUT LIKE
LIKE PITCHING A SOFTBALL
INTO A LAKE

I WAS A RAT AND I COULD BLOG ABOUT MY IDEALS
AND I COULD WRITE POEMS AND SAY SHIT ABOUT SHIT
I LEFT SHIT IN THE CAGE KNOWING YOU WOULD CLEAN IT UP
AND I LIKED WATCHING YOU CLEAN IT

I WILL NEVER PARTICIPATE
IN THIS THING
THIS UH
THIS THING THAT TASTES LIKE BATTERIES IN A WATERFALL

I WAS A RAT AND MY TAIL WAS NAKED
EVERYONE LOOKED AT THEMSELVES AND FELT HORNY
BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND LIFE AT ALL
I CAME TO LIFE AS A SUDDEN BURST OF MATTER

I DON'T TRUST A DAMN THING

2008-07-26T01:29:00.000-07:00

BLACKOUTS FILL MY BRAIN.
I THINK ABOUT TONIGHT AND
HOW I WALKED ALONE FOR
SO LONG.
SITTING ON THE HANGING CHAINS
NEXT TO THE PARK,
WATCHING THE MOON.
IT LITE UP THE PARK JUST ENOUGH
TO VIEW THE SILHOUETTES OF THE TREES
AND THE HOUSES THAT WERE ASLEEP.
NO NOISE, NO NOTHING.
PERFECTION.
IT'S NICE TO BE ALONE.
NO ONE CAN RUIN A MOMENT IN
WHICH YOU THINK IS YOUR OWN.
IT'S YOURS.
THE STARS SHOWN BRIGHT
AND THE SPRINKLERS
MADE THE GRASS LOOK
LIKE A PRACTICE PUTTING GREEN
THAT YOU LAY IN THE HOUSE
WHILE THE T.V. IS ON IN THE BACKROUND.

I WANT MY STOMACH TO IMPLODE

2008-07-26T01:12:00.000-07:00

LIFE CAN BE BEAUTIFUL
BUT ONLY IN SMALL OFFERINGS

I HAVE LOVED SO MANY PEOPLE LATELY
THAT IT HURTS TO THINK ABOUT
BECAUSE FRIENDS ARE HARD TO MANAGE
AND TO ACCEPT IT'S JUST HOW IT IS
AND IT WILL RARELY WORK OUT BUT I FEEL OK
THIS HAS BEEN OK

I KEEP FALLING ON KEYS
THIS POEM WANTS ACCIDENTAL KEY STRIKES
BUT I CAN'T GRANT THOSE
BECAUSE I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING

I CANNOT SAY IT
ATOMS CONTINUE TO MULTIPLY

SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THAT

LEAVE

THIS IS OK
BUT NOT GOOD

I SHOULD SAY

2008-07-20T02:38:00.000-07:00

THE GREATEST SITCOM EVER
IS THE ONE WHERE GENE HACKMAN
DRINKS A FORTY AND THEN JANE FONDA
IS ACTUALLY GENE HACKMAN
BUT IT'S LIKE INSANE AND SHIT
BUT LIKE I HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGH IN MY LIFE
SO YOU KNOW WHAT? AM I RIGHT?

JESUS WANTS ME TO SHOOT DAN CONNOR
BECAUSE WHY WOULD HE EVER DO SOMETHING
ROSEANNE COULD KICK HIS ASS

JESUS JESUS JESUS
I KNOW HOW TO MAKE PANCAKES WITHOUT YOU

FUCK

AND BALLS

I'M NOT DRUNK BUT

2008-07-14T20:48:00.000-07:00

I'M TRYING

LATELY I'VE SAT ON THE SOFA
LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW AT EVERY CAR THAT'S PASSED
I'M WORRIED
EVERY DOOR
EVERY IGNITION

I DON'T KNOW
IT'S LIKE EVERY ONE ALIVE CANNOT DEAL
WITH THE EXISTENCE OF EVERYONE ELSE ALIVE

I THINK IF I PLAYED GHANDI IN A MOVIE
WHERE GHANDI CARRIED A MACHINE GUN
AND USED IT TO SHOOT BIRDS
I WOULD BE A BETTER PERSON

I THINK IF I STARRED IN AN INFOMERCIAL
BEGGING THE STARVING CHILDREN
TO JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY
I WOULD FEEL NO PAIN

I THINK IF I HAD MY SOUL SURGICALLY REMOVED
I WOULD KEEP IT IN A FORMALDEHYDE JAR
AND SHOW IT OFF AT PARTIES
AND MAYBE HAVE LESS TROUBLE IN LIFE

I LIKE SEEING PEOPLE FAIL
IT MAKES ME LIKE THEM MORE

ONE THING I WANT IS TO LIKE ALL PEOPLE MORE

PEOPLE SHOULD FUCK UP MORE
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE SADNESS AND REGRET
RIGHTFULLY EARNED

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE SHOWING UP DRUNK
TO YOUR OWN FUNERAL
AND PISSING IN THE CASKET

I WANT THE WORLD TO BE FILLED WITH CORAL REEFS
AND I WANT TO CUT MY FEET ON ALL OF THEM

I SOMETIMES WONDER WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF MY PARENTS READ MY POETRY
WOULD THEY SAY ANYTHING
I WONDER WHY THEY HAVEN'T JUST GOOGLED
"DANIEL BAILEY MUNCIE"
IT'S SO EASY
I FEEL LIKE THEY WOULD UNDERSTAND ME MORE
AND EVEN LEARN TO APPRECIATE THE SHIT THAT I THINK
NOT THAT THEY'RE NOT UNDERSTANDING
BUT I'M TRYING

HERE'S SOMETHING THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY
I WANT A GIANT WOLF TO PUT ME IN ITS MOUTH
AND WRAP ME IN ITS TOUNGE LIKE A MUMMY
AND LET ME SLEEP IN ITS MOUTH FOR 3,00O YEARS

I REMEMBER SEVERAL VERSIONS OF MY BIRTH

ONCE WHEN I WAS BORN I LOOKED AT THE EARTH LIKE A FLY
I AM YOUNG AND GETTING YOUNGER
I COULD BE A MAGGOT THAT LOVES THE ENTIRE EARTH
THAT CAN ONLY LOVE
AND LOOK AT THE EARTH WITH ITS LOVE AND SAY HOW MUCH LOVE

ONCE WHEN I WAS BORN I WAS THE BLADES OF A LAWN MOWER
COATED WITH WET GRASS
OVER TIME I RUSTED AND SAT IN A SHED AND REMEMBERED BEING BORN
AS SOMETHING THAT I WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN

ONCE WHEN I WAS BORN I WAS THE SURGEON WHO DELIVERED ME
I LOOKED AT THE BLOOD ON ME AND SAID NOTHING
MY MOTHER SAID, "WHAT IS IT?"
I SAID, "I DON'T KNOW. SOMETHING"
I PUT ME DOWN AND MADE A LARGE DRINK AND SWALLOWED IT

GIANT WOLF, PUT ME IN YOUR MOUTH AND LET ME SLEEP
UNDER YOUR TONGUE WITH THE BLOOD THAT POOLS THERE
SOAK ME RED LIKE A NEWBORN

ON EARTH, BEFORE ALL OF THIS, I REMEMBER STAYING UP LATE
DRUNK, WALKING TO THE BATHROOM, BRUSHING MY TEETH
AND WASHING A LINE OF ANTS DOWN THE BASIN OF THE SINK

I FEEL THE SAME AS I HAVE ALWAYS FELT
BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I HAVEN'T CHANGED
THAT I HAVE NO NEW REGRETS

I LOOK AT THE EARTH AS A BROKEN LANTERN
WITH INTERMINABLE FIRE

RESOLUTION

2008-07-12T21:28:00.000-07:00

IF I EVER DECIDE TO BLOW MY HEAD OFF
I WILL MAKE SURE TO STUFF MY MOUTH WITH CONFETTI
SO THAT IT LOOKS PRETTY FOR NO ONE.

TONIGHT PEOPLE SUCK (BUT SOME ARE GREAT) AND THIS IS NOT A POEM BUT AN HONEST RECOLLECTION

2008-07-12T01:04:00.000-07:00

WE WENT TO THE HEOROT WITH LOUIS AND SARAH
THEY ARE GOOD AND GOOD PEOPLE
I DRANK A COUPLE FOREIGN BEERS
THAT WERE VERY STRONG
AND SAD ADAM'S CHERRY WHEAT
AND A FOSTERS
AND MAYBE THAT WAS IT

WE WERE DRUNK

WE HAD MANY BEERS
WE REQUESTED SONGS THAT DIDN'T GET PLAYED
THEY WERE LIKE UH...
THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS
AND TOOTS AND THE MAYTALS
AND SOME OTHER BANDS
THAT I CAN'T REMEMBER

WE LEFT DOWNTOWN
LOUIS GOT AN ENERGY DRINK
WE WENT TO THE VILLAGE
WHERE LIFE SUCKS

WE GOT SHITTY BEERS
THREE FLOYD'S "PRIDE AND JOY"
MEGAN MADE FUN OF A GUY
THE GUY CALLED HER A DYKE
FOR HAVING SHORT HAIR

THIS GUY IS LIKE 30 AND HANGS AROUND COLLEGE BARS
TRYING TO GET SEX FROM GIRLS THAT ARE BETTER THAN HIM

WE LEFT THE BAR AN HOUR AFTER CLOSE
WE WALKED DOWN THE STREET
SOME DRUNK ASSHOLES YELLED AT US
I DON'T KNOW WHAT EVERYONE ELSE YELLED
I YELLED SOMETHING ABOUT JAY-Z HAVING 99 PROBLEMS
AND THEM HAVING NONE
AND ABOUT THEIR PARENTS BUYING THEM SPORTS CARS
WE YELLED AT THEM
OR THEY TOLD ME NOT TO YELL
THEY BACKED UP AND SAID WHAT
I YELLED MORE ABOUT JAY-Z
I DON'T KNOW WHAT LOUIS AND SARAH AND MEGAN SAID
THEY DROVE AWAY

MEGAN CALLED THE COPS ABOUT A "SILVER MECHANISM" AND REPORTED THEM
AND REPORTED THEM FOR DRUNK DRIVING
THEN LOUIS CALLED THE COPS ON THEM
BUT GAVE THE WRONG NUMBER
HE REPORTED THEM FOR DRUNK DRIVING TOO

THEN WE KEPT WALKING

A VAN STOPPED BY US
THE DRIVER SAID
HAVE YOU SEEN A BLONDE RUSSIAN CHICK
I YELLED, CHECK THE INTERNET
THE OTHERS SAID, NO
THEY KEPT DRIVING
PEOPLE LAUGHED AT MY ANSWER
I THOUGHT, MY ANSWER IS THE BEST POSSIBLE ANSWER
I SHOULD BE A SENATOR OR SOMETHING
THEN MEGAN AND I PARTED WAYS WITH LOUIS AND SARAH
THEY ARE BOTH GOOD PEOPLE

THEN TWO COP CARS STARTED CHASING THE VAN
I DON'T KNOW
MUNCIE IS A STRANGE TOWN

MEGAN FELT BAD ABOUT HOW PEOPLE IN MUNCIE
ARE NOT KIND OR UNDERSTANDING
TOWARD PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT FROM THEMSELVES
WHY WOULD THEY CALL HER DYKES
I COULDN'T PROVIDE DECENT COMFORT
I HAD NO ANSWER
WE ARE HERE NOW
AND SHE IS EMAILING ANNA
AND I AM WRITING THIS
AND THINKING GODDAMMIT
BUT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN SAY

I DON'T WANT THIS TO SEEM LIKE TONIGHT SUCKED
I HAD A GOOD TIME AND ENJOYED THE COMPANY

BUT FUCKING COME ON
STUPID SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN

THIS IS ON THE RECORD

2008-07-04T22:54:00.001-07:00

DEAR MUNCIE COPS,

FUCK YOU.

SINCERELY,
DANIEL JAMES BAILEY

POETRY, I DID NOT MEAN FOR THIS POEM TO BE SO LONG

2008-07-01T22:12:00.000-07:00

IF THE WORLD EXISTED
I WOULD KNOW IT
AND IT WOULD BE
AN EXPLOSION LIKE
UHH I DON'T KNOW
PROBABLY A MOTH
OR A SOCCER HOOLIGAN

MY PANTS WOULD PROBABLY
HUGE THEMSELVES INTO OBLIVION

1
2
3
4

THIS POEM WANTS ME TO KNOW
I CAN CUT IT IN HALF
WITH A DRUM SOLO

OR

A GUITAR SOLO

OR

SOCCER HOOLIGANS
DESTROYING MY HIGH SCHOOL

I REMEMBER HIGH SCHOOL...

IT WAS LIKE
UHH YEAH I DON'T KNOW
UHH FUCK AND SHIT
GAYS?
UHH...PUSSY?
AND SHIT?

ACTUALLY,
ALL I DID IN HIGH SCHOOL
WAS STAY HOME EVERY NIGHT
AND WATCH COMEDY CENTRAL

I HAVE SEEN EVERY EPISODE
OF COMEDY CENTRAL PRESENTS
AND PREMIUM BLEND
FROM 2003 OR EARLIER
AT LEAST 10 TIMES

MY POETRY SUCKED

IT WAS ALL LIKE:

DURR
I SUCK
THE PRESIDENT SUCKS
SO DOES LIFE
I HATE ME

THE NEW POETRY IS THIS:

SOCCER ARETHA PLASTIC HAVE THE UNIVERSE
FRENCH KNOWINGLY TIME DUST HEART
NOT REALLY
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

POETRY IS SUPER GAY AND SHIT

DIDN'T CARE

2008-06-30T00:02:00.001-07:00

SUNDAY SELECTIONS ON
THE GRAY GRAVEL IN
FRONT OF MY PORCH.
TWO MEN WITH LONG
BEARDS GET IN THEIR
SMALL CAR IN FRONT OF
THE CHURCH AND TAKE A SIP
OF SOMETHING OUT OF A BOTTLE.
THEY SMILE, STROKE THEIR BEARDS
AND KICK THEIR CAR INTO 2ND GEAR.
AS THEY PULL OUT OF THEIR PARKING
LOT A COUPLE WITH A BOOM BOX
SKIP ALONG TO A RHYTHMS WHICH
CONSIST OF WORDS LIKE "WHORE"
AND
"SLUT".
I NOD MY HEAD TO THE MUSIC
AND TAKE A SIP OF MY BRANDY
OUT OF MY FLASK
AND LOOK UP TO THE SKY
WITH DIRTY CLOUDS.
FIRES HAVE BEEN
GOING ON SINCE
LAST WEEK AND WHEN
I TOOK THE SUBWAY TO THE
BASEBALL GAME YESTERDAY
I SAW THE FUTURE
IN A HORRID SCENE OF METAL
MACHINES AND A HAZY SKY
FILLED WITH BLURRY DREAMS
AND A HOPE FOR SOMETHING BETTER
THAT WON'T COME IN THIS
LIFETIME.

TOTALLY METAPHORIC POEM

2008-06-28T21:19:00.000-07:00

THE OLD LADY WHO LIVES ABOVE ME IS LIKE KING HIPPO FROM NINTENDO'S SUPER-PUNCHOUT BECAUSE IF I PUNCH HER IN THE STOMACH A BUNCH OF TIMES, SHE FALLS DOWN AND DOESN'T GET UP.

METAL SONG

2008-06-27T23:50:00.000-07:00

AIR CONDITIONING MADE OUT OF PIE
ONE3 MILLION DWARVES WILL FUCKING DIE
SANDWICHES TO QUELL THE FUKKING MASSES
WHO WANTS SOME DILDO FUCKING PASSES
BASSES ARE THE STUPIDEST FISH EVER
THEY SEINK AT THE SOUND OF WHATEVER

THIS SONG IS OVER

FUCK IT

IT IS NOT VERY METAL

SUCK MY DICK

FUCK YOU

AND ALSO

MY DICK IS FOR SUCKING

you feel worse than before

2008-06-25T20:50:00.001-07:00

i want to eat chuck berry's heart
everything on tv makes me feel better
what a beautiful world
i said that with my voice as a ukulele
on the real world i learned about myself
and i told myself that i needed to improve
my friends all want me to be something different
what a beautiful world
what?
i feel like i'm in high school
i want to put tori amos into my pocket
and throw her against a wall

dear universe,

i laugh when people on reality shows have relatives that die

sincerely,
the universe

i laughed
aha
tori amos likes puppies
morgan freeman's voice is money
i am rich and worthless
aha
but chuck berry is in my heart

i forgot to press caps lock

fuck

i feel more brilliant than a frog blossoming
out of a water flower and into a pond
safe and distant and safe and safe and safe
and distant

I CAN ONLY THINK OF THE BEAT FROM LCD SOUNDSYSTEM'S ALL MY FRIENDS

2008-06-22T01:22:00.000-07:00

I JUST THOUGHT OF A THING THAT LINKED US ALL TO THE GREATS. OH WELL.
TODAY, AT GOODWILL, MY GIRLFRIEND BOUGHT 20 PETRI DISHES. THEY SAY SINGLE USE ONLY. I AM DRINKING WINE OUT OF A WINE GLASS SHAPED CUP MADE OUT OF
PLASTIC AND IT IS HOT LIKE THE NUMBER 3 IS HOT. I WISH SOMEONE (MAYBE YOU)
COULD LEAD ME. HERE IS THE HORIZON, I MEAN, AFTER THIS LINE BREAK.

ARE YOU SICK? I THINK THERE MIGHT BE A SLEEPING DISEASE GOING AROUND.
CAN WE GET TESTED FOR IT TOGETHER? DEAR DOC: I THINK SHE AND I HAVE BOTH
BEEN TOO INFATUATED WITH SLEEP. IS IT BECAUSE WE LOVE DREAMS MORE THAN
OUR LIVES? OF COURSE, YES, WE DO. I WOULDN'T KEEP YOU ALL HANGING ON.
I'M ONLY TRYING TO CONVEY A SENSE OF SMALL URGENCY. I WILL LEAVE THIS

DEVOID OF GHOSTS AND SANDS. I WILL PRETEND I AM AN ANT IN THIS DIRTY
SHAG CARPET. I WILL THINK OF IT LIKE HONEY I SHRUNK THE KIDS. LIKE,
LOOK AT THAT GIANT TAFFY COOKIE THAT THEY EAT CHUNKS OF FROSTING FROM.
I WILL TAME AN ANT AND I WILL RIDE IT WITH GRACE AND I WILL MAKE ANOTHER

SHRUNKEN GIRL FALL IN LOVE WITH ME JUST BY MY SUPERIORITY AT ANT FARMING.
IF WE DON'T MAKE IT OUT OF THIS BY WAY OF END OF MOVIE GRACE, WILL YOU PLEASE MEET ME BY THE BASE OF THE ENTERTAINMENT CENTER? THERE WE SHALL
MAKE OUR LIFE. WE CAN START TRADING THINGS OR MAYBE WE CAN START A MARKET.

MIKE: I AM NOT THAT DEPRESSED EITHER

2008-06-16T22:56:00.000-07:00

THIS IS SUNG IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.

SEE WATER

2008-06-10T00:36:00.000-07:00

JUST BACKWARDS
NUMBERS AND SILENCE
STACKED IN A BUZZING
NEST OF ELECTRICITY.
EMPTY NOISE
AND BEGGING FOR ATTENTION.
ONE FLICK OF
THE WRIST AND
THINGS BECOME SECURE
AMONGST A HOARD
OF LIARS AND THIEVES.
ONE LIGHT ON.
ONE SWITCH PRESSED.
ONE SET OF SHOES SHINED
AND BUFFED.
ANOTHER PAYCHECK
SPENT ON
MIRRORS AND
DREAMS.

I PEER THROUGH GLORY HOLES AND I'M IN AWE

2008-06-07T01:01:00.000-07:00

I PEER THROUGH GLORY HOLES AND I'M IN AWE
OF WOMEN HAVING INTERCOURSE WITH BIRDS
OH DEAR THE HANGING CHADS OF CHICKEN CLAWS
START HOMING IN ON FANCY MAMMOTH TURDS

MY GPS CONTROLS A FLOCK OF DUCKS
WHILE EATING DIRTY CHILDREN OUT OF GLASS
BALLS HANGING FROM THE BACKS OF PICKUP TRUCKS
MAKE CUCKOLDS OF THE UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS

MY KNUCKLES KEEP MY BONES FROM SHOOTING OUT
ALTHOUGH THE SKIN IS VELVETEEN AT BEST
AT NIGHT I DREAM I FUCK SOME RAINBOW TROUT
WITH CHICORY AND CURRIED LEMON ZEST

I REALLY HOPE THE DEVIL MAKES A BRA
TO SUPPORT MY MINCE-MEAT-LIKE PHYSIQUE
WE USED YOUR MOM TO MAKE THE BEST FOIE GRAS
WE LAYED HER OUT ON LEPERS SMOKING TEAK

THE WAY OUR PLACID MEATBALLS FALL FROM GRACE
DENOTES THE PRINT OUR BALLS LEAVE IN THE SNOW
HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS FAGGY PLACE
WITHOUT THE POPE OF FINGERBANG IN TOW?

FUCK YOU I'LL EAT MY CHICKEN CORDON BLEU
'CAUSE OBAMA SAID I OUGHTN'T TO

BY JESS ROWAN AND BRYAN COFFELT

ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE

2008-06-06T21:46:00.001-07:00

THE BEST KIND
OF DRUNK
IS WHEN YOU
CHUG A BOTTLE
OF WINE TO
YOUR FACE IN A MATTER
OF TWENTY MINUTES
AND PUT ON
AN ALBUM THAT
YOU'VE BEEN LISTENING TO
FOR WEEKS.
PUT YOUR FEET UP.
LAY BACK.
LET YOUR BODY
SOAK UP THE BOOZE
AND FEEL NUMB.
I CAME HOME
AND DID EXACTLY
THAT.
I COULDN'T FEEL
ANY PART OF MY BODY
AT ALL.
A SLOW SMILE SPREAD
ACROSS MY FACE.
I FELT LIKE A DANDELION
BEING BLOWN APART
ACROSS SHARP
BLADES
OF GRASS.

I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE TONIGHT

2008-05-30T20:38:00.000-07:00

TODAY I WOKE UP
I MADE COFFEE
I DIDNT EAT ALL DAY
I READ BOOKS ALL DAY
NO ONE CAME HOME
MY FRIEND CAME OVER FOR
DINNER
AFTER DINNER
HE WAS COLLECTING HIS THINGS
I IMAGINED
THROWING MYSELF AT HIS FEET
AND BEGGING HIM NOT TO LEAVE
BUT I DIDNT AND HE LEFT
IVE BEEN ALONE ALL NIGHT
NO ONE WILL COME HOME
I MASTURBATED SIX TIMES TODAY
TO PASS TIME
I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE
I CANT THINK OF ANYONE TO CALL
WHO WOULD WANT TO
SEE ME
RIGHT NOW