AN ESSAY ON LONELINESS

WRITING POEMS WITH FOUR LINES WAS A STUPID IDEA

I AM
DONE
WITH
THAT

WHAT IF I PULLED THE WALL DOWN?

IT WOULD FALL ON ME
IT WOULD HURT A LOT
I DON'T LIKE HURTING
I THINK I COULD HOLD IT UP

WHAT IS THE WORST FLAVOR OF ALL THE SKITTLES RAINBOW

PURPLE!
NO ORANGE!
NO GREEN!
NO PISS!

CAN I TRASH COMPACT MY BODY INTO A SMALLER ME

WHAT IS THE WORLD'S RECORD FOR THE MOST
CONSECUTIVE NIGHTS ALONE
I KNOW I AM NOWHERE NEAR THAT
BUT I CAN FEEL WHAT IT WOULD FEEL LIKE

HEY, WHATEVER RIGHT NOW

I WANT TO COMPLAIN BUT I CAN'T
WHO WOULD EVEN LISTEN?

I GO TO WORK AND I WORK
AND THEN I COME HOME
AND THEN I AM HOME
I GUESS

I JUST TOUCHED MY TEETH
THE BONES OF MY MOUTH

I JUST SMASHED EGGS INTO THE CARPET

I JUST TRUSTED MYSELF TO MAKE A DECISION

I WANT TO TAKE A BATH TONIGHT
AND I WANT TO SWALLOW ALL THE BATH WATER
HOW CAN I BATHE WITHOUT FEELING LONELY?

WATER SHIT
APE SHIT
LOOK INTO
THE FIRE
SHIT
NO

BLAB

OH

LET'S PUSH ALL THE EARTH
INTO OUR MOUTHS AND SWALLOW

IF I COULD LOOK THROUGH THIS WALL
I'D ONLY SEE ANOTHER WALL
THAT'S HOW LIFE IS, I THINK
ENDLESS WALLS, ENDLESS

I LIKELISTENING TO EMO MUSIC
I LIKE THE ROCKS THAT ALWAYS END UP IN SNOWPILES
I LIKE THE HEARTS THAT NEVER WORK

WHAT HAPPENS HAPPENS
I KNOW THAT
AND SHIT HAPPENS
BUT WHATEVER
FOREVER

I WANT TO SLOWHUG ALL OF EVERYONE
AH YEAH, SON, EVERYONE
SHEEIT

BUOYANT BLANK AND DEEP SEA
TIL OUR SHIT DON'T WORK NO MORE
LET'S FUCKIN SANK

I AM NOT WORTHLESS, I KNOW
NO ONE IS
I CAN'T FEEL
LET'S JUST FUCKING HANG OUT
AND TOUCH SOME FACE
WHATEVA WUT

I WANT TO FEEL MY WAY AROUND THE INSIDE

OF YOUR MOUTH AND MAYBE LICK THE INSIDE OF YOU
MAYBE IF WE STILL TALK TOMORROW WE COULD PRAY
WITH OUR TONGUES ON THE PAGES OF EACH OTHERS'
BODIES AND MAYBE EVEN SMASH OUR HEADS TOGETHER
UNTIL OUR BLOOD GETS IN OUR EYES AND ALL WE
SEE IS OUR BLOOD AND ALL WE KNOW IS OUR BLOOD
AND WE WILL PASS OUT FROM LOSS OF BLOOD AND
AND WAKE UP SHIVERING IN A PUDDLE OF COLD
BLOOD AND THEN MAYBE FUCK WHILE WE DIE
I LIKE YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW

I AM DRUNK

YES, I AM DRUNK

AND I AM TRYING VERY HARD
TO NOT BE SO USED TO IT

I'VE GOT SOME LOVE
IT'S LIKE A BEARCUB GLIDING
DOWN THE MOUNTAINBANK SNOWBANK
JUST MOVING LIKE A BEARCUB MOVES

THE COOLEST THING ABOUT LIFE
IS THAT SOME PEOPLE GET SO EXCITED
THAT THEY ACTUALLY BELIEVE
LIFE WILL NEVER END

THAT'S INCREDIBLE!
LIFE IS GOING TO END!
I WISH I HAD YOUR FAITH!
I WISH I COULD LOVE
THE WAY YOU LOVE!

BUT RIGHT NOW, I AM ALONE
AND I HAVE FELT THIS WAY
FOR A LONG TIME
AND I HAVE GOTTEN USED TO IT