MAGNOLIA, I HAVE NEVER SEEN MAGNOLIA

THERE IS SOMETHING KIND OF DEAD
ABOUT BEING SCARED OF CHAINS BUT
I AM AFRAID OF SECRET DJANGO REINHARDT
RECORDINGS THAT SAY "JESUS OF THE MOON,
FUCK THE 500 THREAD COUNT EARTH." I HAVE
SEEN THE KENDRA GRANT MALONES OF
MEDFORD OREGON AND ASHLAND OREGON AND
THEY ARE ALL KIND OF RED HEADEDISH AND
I WONDER IF THEY ARE AS PATIENT AS DAVID
BERMAN'S WIFE. RUNNING STOP LIGHTS IN
OLD TOWN DOWN BY THE TRAIN DEPOT WHERE
NO TRAIN HAS GONE IN 6 MONTHS AT LEAST
BUT MAYBE YOU COULD GET SOME 107.5 DJS TO
SUCK IT OFF WITH YOU OR GIVE YOU
SOME BLOW IN A CORNER. I REMEMBER WHEN
OUR TEACHER BROUGHT CHAINS AND A TIRE
TO SCHOOL TO TEACH THE GIRLS HOW TO PUT
CHAINS ON BUT HE PROBABLY JUST WANTED
THEM TO BEND OVER SO HE COULD SEE THEIR
THONGS. I WANT ONE OF THOSE OLD PRINTERS
WHERE THE PAPER HAD HOLES IN THE SIDE, AND
THERE WERE AT LEAST TWO COPIES: ONE YELLOW
AND ONE WHITE-- WHERE YOU COULD ESCAPE INTO
A RIBBON OF BLACK INK AND THINK ABOUT THE
NEXT SPIDERMAN MOVIE AND THEN MAYBE THINK
ABOUT THE WAY PEOPLE ACTED ON SURVIVOR
AND THEN THINK ABOUT THE SUN FILIBUSTERING
HOMECOMING DANCES AND THEN THINK ABOUT
DAZZLING PARIAHS WEARING BITCH SKINS.

DRUNK SONNET 17

I AM NOT STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU, NO
I AM NOT STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU AT ALL
I AM NOT STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU
STILL, I AM NOT AT ALL THINKING ABOUT YOU

NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU, NO I'M NOT
WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT? NOT YOU
IF I AM THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING, IT'S NOT YOU
YOU ARE NOT A THING I'M THINKING ABOUT

WHAT SHOULD I THINK ABOUT? NOT YOU
WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY THINK ABOUT?
WHAT IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT BUT YOU?

THERE'S PLENTY TO THINK ABOUT IN THIS WORLD
WHAT IN MY LIFE AM I THINKING ABOUT?
I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU, THANK GOD

DRUNK SONNET 16

TOMORROW I COULD BE A PLANT
AND YOU COULD BE A PLANT
AND WE COULD BE NEIGHBORS
IN A FOREST IN SCOTLAND

AND THE SKY COULD RAIN ON US
AND THE WORMS COULD MAKE GOOD DIRT
AND THE DIRT COULD SUSTAIN US
AND OUR LOVE WOULD SMELL LIKE THE EARTH

BUT WE ARE NOT PLANTS
WE ARE NOT WORMS
WE ARE NOT DIRT

WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS
AND WE ARE ARE MISSING THE POINT
AND I'M A LITTLE DRUNK AND YOU'RE A LITTLE DRUNK

DRUNK SONNET 15

NO ONE CAN BE COMPLETE WITHOUT THAT THING
THAT COMPLETES THEM AND MAKES THEM ALIVE
AND IF THAT THING IS NOT LOVE THEY ARE NOT ALIVE
AND I THINK I AM ALIVE BUT THAT LOVE IS ASTRAY

WE STAND PUNCHING WALLS AND THROWING TRASH
ACROSS THE FLOOR LIKE DUST AND IT SOAKS IN
AND WHEN WE CLEAN IT UP WE CAN ONLY THINK
WHERE HAS IT GONE FOR IT TO BE LIKE THIS

AND IF I AM NOT ALIVE LET ME BE FABRIC SOFTENER
OR A LIGHT BULB OR AN OVEN OR SOMETHING OF USE
AND LET ME BE A PART OF SOMEONE'S LIFE

IN WAY THAT MAKES LIFE EASIER AND BETTER
SOMETHING THAT CAN NEVER BE HARMED OR NOTHING
AND THAT NO ONE CAN EVER STOP CARING ABOUT OR NEEDING

DRUNK SONNET 14

IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON EVER THEN HEY
I AM HERE IT WOULD BE NICE TO TALK SOMETIME
INFOMERCIALS HAVE STARTED AND I KIND OF WANT TO DIE
I'M PRETTY SURE THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY FOR A MORGUE

OK SO ACTUALLY ITS FOR THE BIBLE OR SOMETHING
SO ITS A COMMERCIAL FOR TRYING TO BE HAPPY OR SOMETHING
BUT I AM NOT HAPPY TONIGHT NO I AM NOT JUST HERE
IF HAPPINESS EVER WORKED THEN HOW - I DON'T KNOW

HAPPINESS IS A LIZARD IN THE SUNLIGHT GETTING WARM
AND THEN IN THE NIGHT BENEATH A ROCK EATING FLIES
AND THE FLIES TASTE LIKE COLD HOT PUS

AH, SO TONIGHT IS A LITTLE DRUNK AND OK OK OK
THAT IS GOOD SO LET ME BE - THERE IS NO LOVE TONIGHT
GOD IS LIKE BONO - SOME DICKWAD NO ONE WILL EVER MEET OR LIKE

DRUNK SONNET 13

THE ONLY THING THAT COULD MAYBE SAVE US NOW
IS GETTING OLD TOGETHER AND DYING AND THEN NOTHING
I THINK THAT THIS IS THE TIME FOR US
I HAVE WALKED THROUGH OUR CITY AT NIGHT

IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE CHANGING ANYTHING NOW
BUT WHEN I FALL IN LOVE IN THE FUTURE
WILL I EVEN THINK OF YOU OR WHAT? I DON'T KNOW
WILL YOU EVEN BE A PART OF THAT?

HERE ARE SOME THINGS I'VE SEEN TONIGHT
THAT MAKE ME THINK OF YOU OK:
CAT LITTER, THAT WAS THE FIRST

YOUR PICTURE ON THE INTERNET
WHAT ELSE, I DON'T KNOW, SHOULD I QUIT MYSPACE?
SHOULD CATS EVER PISS AGAIN?

DRUNK SONNET 12

SERIOUSLY, IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON NOW THAT IT'S OVER
AND I CAN PROBABLY JUST HANG THE GARBAGE OUT THE WINDOW
AND LET THE STREET SMELL IT AND WE CAN STILL SMELL IT HERE
I WANT TO GET RID OF EVERYTHING ON THE FLOOR AND IN THE AIR

IN THE BREATH OF THE EVENING I PROBABLY FELT YOU
THAT'S ALL I CAN EVEN SAY TO DESCRIBE IT
I CAN'T - AND SOMEWHERE ELSE I AM SOMEONE ELSE
AND YOU ARE THE SAME WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE

THAT THERE EXISTS A PLACE FOR YOU AND ME AND ANYONE
DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING ANYMORE BECAUSE OTHER PLACES YES
I THINK THERE ARE OTHER PLACES TO MOVE ON FROM THIS

I'M JUST AN ASSHOLE WITH FLOWERS HANGING OUT OF IT
BUT EVERYONE STILLS MY FLOWERS AS TURDS I THINK
MAMDMDMAMAMAMDMDMAMAMDMDMADMMAMDMADMDMDMDMDMAMAMAMAD

DRUNK SONNET 11

MY DRUNK IS GOING AWAY AND IT'S A LITTLE HOT
LIKE I AM IN A DESERT AND LICKING THE SAND
BENEATH THE SAND TO STAY COOL THOUGH IT'S WRONG
AND THIS WILL JUST MAKE THINGS WORSE

I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW WITH MY MOUTH FULL OF SAND
IF YOU WANT TO TALK LEAVE A MESSAGE AND I WILL RESPOND
AT A BETTER TIME I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND
BUT I UNDERSTAND IF YOU NEVER DO

AND IF I NEVER DO
AND IF WHAT WAS GOOD WAS NOT REALLY GOOD
BUT WE WERE TRYING TOO HARD TO BE GOOD

SOMETIMES I CAN FEEL A CAMEL LICKING MY BACK
AND WHEN I TURN AROUND I AM SUDDENLY SLEEPING
AND THIS POEM MAKES NO SENSE WHAT THE FUCK

DRUNK SONNET 10

THE AIRPORT IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
THE GROCERY STORE IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
PETSMART IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
THE THAI PLACE IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST

MY OWN BED IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
INSIDE MY CAR IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
ALL THESE STREETS, THIS CITY, THIS STATE
THIS COUNTRY IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST

IN FRONT OF THIS TV IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
IN THIS BODY IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST
IN THIS AIR IS A TERRIBLE PLACE TO EXIST

I'M THINKING ABOUT EVOLUTION AND THE WAY WE CHANGE
AND HOW LONG IT WILL BE BEFORE I HAVE A TAIL AGAIN
AND I CAN FORGET ALL THAT'S HAPPENED

DRUNK SONNET 9

I'M GLAD THAT YOU'RE SILL ALIVE AND DOING WELL
I'D HATE TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE YOU DON'T EXIST
I CAN SAY THAT HONESTLY, AND I'M GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO LIE
IF YOU KNOW ME, AND I THINK YOU DO, YOU KNOW I'M NOT A LIAR

EXCEPT FOR WHEN EVERYTHING GOES WRONG IN LIFE
AND I HAVE TO BACK AWAY FOR A LITTLE WHILE
INTO ANOTHER CORNER OF LIFE WHERE I'LL SAY ANYTHING
TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE ME RIGHT NOW

I'M SORRY THAT THINGS DON'T ALWAYS WORK OUT
AND THAT I CAN'T BE THERE TO SEE YOU DOING WELL
BUT IT HURTS TOO MUCH TO SEE YOU DOING WELL

OR TO IMAGINE YOU DOING WELL AT A TIME LIKE THIS
I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY NOW
AND THAT'S OK, I THINK, AT LEAST I HAVE PURPOSE

NEVER

THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION ON
THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MOON
WHICH DRAINED ALL THE LIFE
OUT OF HER PRETTY FACE.
SHE COUGHED, CRINGED, COUNTED
THE DAYS THAT EXPANDED HER
PATIENCE AMONGST THE OTHERS.
SHE LAID LIFELESS AND
AWAITED WHEN SHE WOULD
BE ABLE TO FEEL AGAIN.
ANYTHING.
THERE WAS ONLY ONE WINDOW
IN THE ASYLUM.
ONLY ONE SHADE.
IT NEVER BLEW THE RIGHT WAY
SHE WANTED.
IT ALWAYS BLOCKED WHAT
SHE THOUGHT WAS IMPORTANT.

MIDLAKE

IM RIDING THROUGH THE BUILDINGS
WHILE THINKING ABOUT BENDING YOU
OVER THE SIDE OF MY BED.
GLIMMERS OF THE SUN SHINE INTO
MY FACE SO I PUT ON MY SUNGLASSES
AND TRY TO CONCENTRATE ON
THE CARS PASSING ON MY LEFT HAND
SIDE AND THE POTHOLES IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE STREET BUT
ALL I SEE IS YOUR FIERY HAIR
AND THE SCRATCHES I'VE LEFT BEHIND.
YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T CARE
WHAT WAS GOING ON.
YOU JUST WANTED TO FEEL
SOMETHING THAT MADE YOU
FEEL GOOD.
I SAID I WANTED THE SAME THING.

DRUNK SONNET 8

I WANT TO LOVE BUT PLEASE LET ME KNOW
HOW IS THAT I CAN YOU CAN EVEN EXIST NOW
I JUST FELT THE ALCOHOL IN MY FEET
MY HEART HAS A LOT INSIDE IT I THINK, EVEN STILL

IF EVERYONE IS OK THEN WHY I AM I NOT
IT'S OK TO CRY A LITTLE, I THINK, JUST CRY
I THINK I WANT TO EAT YOUR SMILE TONIGHT
I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING IN IT TO KEEP ME ALIVE

I'M LOOKING AT THIS SLEEPING CAT RIGHT NOW
AND HE JUST SHIFTED A LITTLE AND IT WAS NICE
AND THE OCEAN'S FLOOR IS SO FAR AWAY

SINKING TOGETHER WOULD BE A COMMITMENT
AND RISING TOGETHER AN EVEN BIGGER ONE
BUT I THINK THAT ALL THAT WATER IS TOO MUCH

DRUNK SONNET 7

EVERYTHING AROUND ME IS SHAKING A LITTLE
LIFE IS HORRIBLE AND A GREAT THING TO DEAL WITH
RIGHT NOW I'M TRYING TO GO ON AND IT'S WORKING
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS KEEP BREATHING AND KEEP BEATING

GOD, THIS IS AMAZING, THIS CHAIR, THIS AIR, THESE HANDS
MY BODY FEELS LIKE A SHIT GETTING SUCKED DOWN THE DRAIN
MY BROTHER IS AWESOME AND LETS ME STAY HERE AND YOU ARE NOT HERE
EVERYONE TRIES SO HARD AT EVERYTHING THAT IT'S LIKE HELL YES

I AM TRYING FOR YOU - DO YOU REALIZE THAT?
EVERTYHING IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT SINCE THE SWAMPS FORMED
IT SMELLED A LITTLE LIKE GRASS FERMENTED AND DEAD

I TRY SO HARD RIGHT NOW THAT IT'S LIKE A PENIS CHOPPED OFF
TO GROW ANOTHER BODY WOULD A GOOD IDEA
I WANT JUST WANT A NEW EVERYTHING WITH IT

DRUNK SONNET 6

MY BODY WANTS SOMETHING MORE THAN IT GETS
MY STOMACH SAYS HUNGRY PIZZA JAMBALAYA SANDWICH
MY HEART WANTS BLOOD TO FEED ITS ACHING WORTHLESS
MY RIB JUST WANTS TO SIT THERE AND PROTECT

WHAT ABOUT THE LIVER, THAT SHITTY BUTTWAD
THE LIVER WANTS A NEW LIFE INSIDE A CHRISTIAN WOMAN
BODY, COME ON, I CANNOT COMPLETE THIS INSPECTION
I AM GOING DOWN - YOU TOO - WE ARE KAMIKAZI'D, BIG TIME

I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT, BUT I AM HUNGRY
THE CARPET WANTS FEET, I AM HONEST AND DEAD
GOD IS A HORRIBLE DISEASE THAT I INHERITED

IF I COULD LIVE INSIDE YOU AND YOU INSIDE ME
THEN THAT WOULD BE IDEAL - DISTANCE IS NOT NECESSARY
MY CAR JUST EXPLODED AND NO SHIT EVER EVER HAPPENED

DRUNK SONNET 5

WHERE IS MY LIFE, I THINK A DONE THING
THAT I WANT TO CONTINUE FOREVER AND REMEMBER
COMPLETELY DRUNKFUL AND BEAUTIFUL TO BOOT, AS THEY SAY
WHAT HAPPENS NOW IS WE CONTINUE SEPARATELY AND THAT'S THAT

IT'S LIKE YOU ARE THERE AND I AM HERE
AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE THERE IS BUT HERE IS IRRELEVANT
THE CAPITAL BUILDING IS CRUSHING ME FROM ACROSS THE CITY
AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE WORLD I LIVE IN - IT'S GONE

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE WANT LIFE TO MEAN SOMETHING
I WISH I WERE THE MOSS ON THE TREE STUMP IN ANOTHER STATE
AND WE NEVER ENDED UP SEEING EACH OTHER

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WHAT I DRINK EVERY NIGHT CAN MAKE ME FEEL
ANY DIFFERENT, AND I THINK WE'LL BE GONE FOREVER RIGHT NOW
I AM GONE AND YOU ARE GONE AND THAT IS IT

DRUNK SONNET 4

COME ON, YOU PEOPLE, EVERYTHING IS OK
THE CHILDREN ARE ASLEEP AND THE DOGS ARE ASLEEP
AND MY STOMACH AND HEAD ARE CONNECTED IN THIS WAY
THAT I CAN HEAR THOUGHTS LIKE PIZZA CHOKING BEER

OBVIOUSLY, THE ROOM IS SHAKING A LITTLE
TELL ME IT'S NOT, YOU ARE A LIAR IT SHAKES, BIG TIME
I AM CONTENT AND THAT IS GOOD, BUT LONELY
I REMEMBER HOW THE BODY TASTES AND HOW HARDLY GONE IT IS

TOMORROW I WILL WAKE UP AND GO TO WORK FOR A TRAINING
I WILL LISTEN AND I WILL NOD MY HEAD AND THAT'S THAT
I'LL LEAVE WORK AND LEAVE WORK AND LEAVE WORK

AND I'LL LEAVE WORK AND EAT SOME CHEAP FOOD AND I KNOW
THAT MY HOURS WILL CONTRIBUTE TO MY MONETARY WORTH AND I WISH
I COULD BUY YOU SOMETHING FOR YOUR TIME BUT IT'S GONE

DRUNK SONNET 3

PRACTICALLY, I AM MAKING IT THROUGH LIFE
LIKE THE GROUND KEEPS PAYING ME TO WALK ON IT
WITH THE HUMILIATION OF KNOWING IT'S STRENGTH
AGAINST MY WEIGHT AND I CANNOT WIN OR BREAK THE SURFACE

SOMETIMES IN LIFE SOMEONE SAYS HELLO
AND YOU ARE ALL, I DON'T KNOW, PLEASE
AND, I NEED YOU, COME HERE, WHERE ARE YOU
AND, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL...

THERE'S THIS A/C UNIT AND IT'S COVERED WITH BOTTLES
AND I AM TRYING TO MAKE SENSE AT ALL, YOU KNOW
AND TRAINS KEEP WHISTLING IN THE DISTANCE

BUT WHAT HAPPENS IS I KEEP LOOKING AWAY
AND LOOKING AWAY IS ANOTHER THING
AND ANOTHER THING IS MAYBE BETTER RIGHT NOW

DRUNK SONNET 2

BODIES FLOAT WITHOUT BALLAST
AND I GUESS THAT'S WHY I'M HERE
AND I GUESS THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE
AND WHY, HARDLY, I STILL LOVE YOU

WE FORGOT THE ROCKS AND
WE FORGOT THE CEMENT AND
THE HEAVY SHIT IS SOMEWHERE ELSE
BUT I WANT TO BREATHE UNDERWATER

LIKE BUBBLES I WANT TO TOUCH YOUR DEAD FACE
WITH MY DEAD FACE TO LICK YOU WITH AIR
THE WEEKENDS ARE GONE AND SO ARE THE NIGHTS

I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER THE TIMES THAT I LOVED YOU
BUT I DO AND I WANT TO REMEMBER THEM LIKE I DRANK TOO MUCH
AND WHAT EVEN HAPPENED I DON'T EVEN KNOW

DRUNK SONNET 1

I'M A LITTLE HUNGRY BUT DRUNK
I WANT FORGIVENESS IN A BEEHIVE
LIKE A DOG WITH THE BENDS IN THE ARCTIC
AND COVERED IN ICE FURS

MY FIRST PRAYER TO GOD WENT
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M DOING THIS RIGHT
MY LAST PRAYER TO GOD WENT
I KNOW FOR A FACT I'M NOT DOING THIS RIGHT

I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT AND AT DAY I DONT' WANT AWAKE
AND A BODY THAT RUSTS INTO HARD AND AND UNBELIEVABLE
I WILL BE NOT ALIVE FOREVER EXCEPT FOR THE DRY BED

MY HANDS ARE TOO SMALL TO CARRY WHATEVER THIS IS
ACTUALLY, A HABIT OF DOLPHINS THAT LIVE IN CAPTIVITY
TO EAT FISH OUT OF BUCKETS AND SLEEP IN THE SALT AND THE WATER